


It’s A Hard-Knock Life, For Lance

by HelloMyNameIsCrazy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Lance (Voltron), Archer Lance (Voltron), Attempted, Attempted Suicide, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Bet you didn’t see that coming, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bottom Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Galra Keith (Voltron), Galra Lance (Voltron), Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance & Allura are cousins, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance Is Good At Lying, Lance needs fucking protection, M/M, Most if it is Lance’s, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Or so the team thinks, Original Character Death(s), Pretty sad, Protective Allura (Voltron), Protective Keith (Voltron), Protective Lance (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Sheith is smitten with Lance, Shiro and his alien boyfriends rip, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Notes, THANK THE LORD, Thace doesn’t die, Thace keeps getting changed by autocorrect asdfghjkl, he does not need shit from his team, like scary good, not successful, shklangst, writing as i go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 13:04:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloMyNameIsCrazy/pseuds/HelloMyNameIsCrazy
Summary: Lance McClain was not who he says he is.But the team don’t know, and that’s good.Until they do, then shit hits the fan.~~~Lance has been lying for most of his life, the Galra have been terrorizing him, using him for they’re gains.He was deported to Earth to obtain the Blue Lion after years of searching.There he meets a certain mullet (that’s mother is dead because of him)and saves a one-armed man he’s seen around Central Command.~~~Shklance lovin’Also smut, eventually.A/N: This was posted on my old AO3 account which I deleted (by accident, yeah I know) and I decided to rewrite the whole story, so if you see it somewhere titled ‘Shouldn’t Have Chosen Him’, that’s mine.Enjoy~Indefinite hiatus





	1. The Mask Breaks

“ _Back. Off. Pidge._ ” A clear warning was in Lance’s voice now, his teeth grinding, the atmosphere and animosity in the room was heavy and the air was stale with tension. Lance’s eyes were still closed, but everyone could feel the pressure of his steel walls. Keith and Shiro shifted uneasily.

 

They were all was sitting in their relaxed meditation poses, supposedly being ‘open’ and ‘upfront’ with all the ‘baggage’ that each Paladin has been carrying.

 

(Bullshit, they all thought.)

 

Pidge, trying to avoid attention to his own memories and emotional baggage decided to choose the one person who deemed the least likely to have anything hidden, and push with all his might. He didn’t hear Lance though, Hunk’s prodding was still in the back of his mind although slightly lessened, still too curious for comfort.

 

“Alright! I'm done!” Lance stands up, the flickering screen of a Lance with a screaming face and blood on his face caught everyone off guard and it disappeared from the air like it never existed. Especially Pidge.

  

“You don't see me picking through your brain like some sort of fucking scientist, unlike Hunk,” Hunk winced, just realising how invasive he was being if someone like _Lance_ even saw it that way and oh god how lucky was he that Lance didn’t hear that line of thought either, “you know how it feels to be pushed for answers so why are you fucking ganging up on me,”

 

Lance raises a finger, glaring at the shrinking Pidge, Lance spun around, looking at the other paladins, “and I knew you guys were pushing as well, don't even try to deny it, especially you Hunk. I would have thought you knew that you don't know things about me, you were content. I guess our friendship wasn't as important as I thought it was. I'm out, I'm done. Fuck second personas.” Lance glanced at Hunk one last time, his eyes were akin to the look of betrayal.

 

They also looked like ice.

 

Cold and empty.

 

Filled with unshed but existing tears.

 

Maybe it was betrayal. Hunk knew exactly what he was doing. Knew exactly where Lance’s boundaries were. But he thought that _maybe_ , just maybe...he could learn more about Lance. The guy knew almost everything about _him_ , but not vice versa. How could you be friends if you don't know what kind of life the other lived?

  

That was a dumb question, and no doubt the rest of the team heard it.

 

Lance didn’t need mental links to see it in his eyes though, and that was somehow so much worse. Hunk didn’t say anything but just slowly took off his headset, the damage was done and they didn’t need his curiosity to make it worse.

 

Lance walked out of the room, throwing his helmet at the sliding door frame which made the castle walls crack slightly, a harsh static could be heard from the others’ helmets too not too far from them all.

 

Even Coran and Allura was too shocked to squawk at Lance about the castle and the helmet.

 

Pidge felt _shame_.

 

It was a new feeling.

 

But what else _could_ he feel?

 

He shouldn't have just assumed; Lance could have had just the same or maybe even more problems just like anyone else. It’s not like he knew anything about him. What a great teammate he was, already singling people out.

  

Atticus Finch would be appalled with her lack of empathy.

 

(That’s from the book ‘To Kill A Mockingbird, I highly recommend you read, after leaving a kudos obviously ;D)

 

“I-I'll go check on-”

 

“I'm not sure that's a good idea Hunk. I think I should–” Shiro started to get up from his crossed legs. A hand from Allura stopping him.

 

“Princess?” Shiro looked up at her questioningly, her eyes were slightly guilty.

 

“Coran, can you please check on Lance? Tell him what being the Blue Paladin is about. Please.”

 

“Of course, Princess.” Coran lacked his robust cheer, his shoulders drooped just as low as Allura’s.

 

And if they weren’t unsettles before, the alien that they’ve only known for a few hours being anything but cheerful definitely did.

 

As the slide door closed behind Coran, Allura took the hand off she had put on Shiro’s shoulder.

 

She cleared her throat, and turned to the others who were watching her, half with curiosity and half with worry.

 

Mostly worry.

 

“I think it's time I tell you about the Blue Paladin.” She starts, taking a deep breath in, her shoulders shook slightly.

 

There was a beat of silence before someone spoke up.

 

“What do you mean ‘about the blue Paladin?’” Keith said, leaning back on his hands, trying to play off how he was actually a little worried about Lance, also a bit miffed that he knew Keith’s secrets but not vice versa. But that was for later. Worry first.

 

“Well, I’m sure you all remember, when we were going to find the other lions, I was explaining the traits of each of your lions.” Allura waits for the others to nod, and then continues, “Well, I didn't finish the Blue Paladins characteristics. The reason, for that,” Allura quickly keeps talking to interrupt Keith who had his mouth open, probably to say something insulting, “is because he knew what I was going to say.” Her voice cracked at that.

 

The others look at her to elaborate, but she just shakes her head, and just stays silent before taking a deep breath to continue.

 

“The Blue Paladin is the dominant leg of Voltron, the only reason Voltron can move forward with pride, that sort of strength of carrying an entire team wasn’t just luck. The Blue Paladin…is also known as, well, as the Trickster.”

 

“The Trickster?” Shiro asked cautiously, trying not to force the Princess into explaining.

 

After a shuddering breath, she continues.

 

“I remember the first blue Paladin, I remember who he was, no, who he _pretended_ he was, h-he’s the same as Lance. The Blue Paladin is– you know what, I cannot do this. I’ll have to show you, but since it’s already quite late, I suggest we all go to bed, I have something I need to show everyone in the morning, the sooner it’s done, the better.” Without wasting a beat, Allura just walks out of the room with quick steps.

 

The silence in the room was deafening, everyone was confused.

 

“I-I think I fucked up. Really,” Pidge takes a deep breath in, “really badly.”

 

“Same.” Hunk sighs.

 

Neither showed it, but Keith and Shiro both inwardly agreed.

 

**~**

 

“I'm not who I used to be, I'm not who I used to be, I'm-”

 

**Exactly who you were before.**

 

“No, I’m not, I've changed–!”

 

**Have you?**

 

Silence…

 

Lance thought; he thought about the friendships he had with Pidge and Hunk, he really saw them almost as family, heck, he had already accepted Shiro, Allura, Coran (and Keith but he’d never admit it) into his family. But…how could he do that now? Being part of a family was that you respected each other’s boundaries, but no one did that for him. He knew, it wasn’t just Hunk and PIdge, he felt Keith and Shiro both try to weasel their ways in.

 

But maybe that was just Lance, the delusion that he was with people who actually acknowledged his presence and what he brought to the table. Maybe he was supposed to be alone, maybe he was still the young man who massacred a family, and loved every second of it. Even now, the death he’s reigned still doesn’t get to him. He still has the same regard and coldness.

 

He hasn’t changed.

 

The voice is right.

 

“No…”

 

**That's right.**

 

Lance stopped pacing and stood in the middle of the room, staring at his feet, his hands tugging on the back of his head, curling his fingers in his hair painfully.

 

“ **I'** m **t** h **e** s **a** m **e**.”

 

His voice synchronized with his tormenter’s. The voice he's heard for years. Taunting his existence for as long as he could remember.

 

But it was familiar. Normal. And that was something Lance wanted. More than anything he wanted to see what the stupid vacuum of space had to offer.

 

“ **We’re** one **and** the **same**.”

 

Suddenly the door slid open and Lance’s mind was snapped awake, staring at the door like a deer in headlights. Quickly recovering his posture, holding his hands on his hips as he puts on a cocky smirk. Maybe exaggerating his stance, but Lance just wanted to get whoever out as soon as possible.

 

“Ah, Lance, there you are. Listen...we need to talk.”

 

Lance blinked at Coran.

 

“Sure, what's up?” Lance makes sure his shoulders were as loose as possible as he walked to the bed, collapsing onto the edge.

 

“I'm all ears.” He says when Coran doesn’t say anything and just stands unsurely in the doorway.

 

“So I wanted to- ears? Why are you all ears, I can see the proper amount of limbs-” Coran started to check Lance’s body, checking for anything wrong. When Lance suddenly giggles, turning away from Coran’s hand.

 

“That tickles~” Lance says excitedly, it seemed like the anger he had been displaying earlier had disappeared.

 

But Coran knew better.

 

“Well, that is a very important piece of information that I will now torture you with.”

 

A beat of silence.

 

Lance blinked. Coran blinked.

 

“ _Nooooooo_!!!!!” Lance quickly jumped off the bed, adrenaline speeding him up as he dodges Coran’s torturous hands and runs out of the room.

 

“Well, now you've done it!” Coran takes a deep breath in, puffing up his chest and running after Lance with his nostrils flaring. Gaining on Lance at a surprising rate for his age. Whatever it was. Lance had a fleeting thought if he was hurting himself but quickly pushed himself faster as he saw the evil glint in Coran’s eyes.

 

“Save _meeeeeeeee_!” Lance shouted as they passed the kitchen, a flash of brown and yellow was all he saw of Hunk. He barely heard Hunk’s confused and surprised noise as he kept running in the direction of the training room, thinking of hiding behind Shiro.

 

“You can't run forever! I don't have any Wobblies in my knees now, I'm raring to go!”

 

“Pleeeeease noooooo _someone save meeeeee_!!!”

 

In the heat of the moment Lance even added:

 

“Even Keith! It's okay! I'll be good to Keith just don't tickle _meeeeee_!!!!!”

 

Still hot in pursuit, Coran, somehow, speeds up. Bless those legs. Lance is almost to the training room, thankful as he sees Shiro and Keith tag teaming one of the higher level robots.

 

As the door slides open, he sees Shiro and Keith’s heads whip to him, momentarily distracted. The bot kicks their asses and Lance just dances around the room running from Coran.

 

When Lance sees that Shiro and Keith are done, a broken robot at their feet, he launches himself at them.

 

“HALP!” More of a yelp than a cry for help. But whatever got their attention. It’s cool.

 

He climbed onto Shiro’s shoulders like a goddamn monkey, standing on his knees precariously as he chokes Shiro with his hands. Shiro sputters and starts spinning around, trying to pull Lance off gently and not run into a wall and/or faceplant.

 

Lance would have been blushing heavily with feeling Shiro’s arm/s if he wasn’t so flushed from laughing and running.

 

Keith just watched in confusion, opting to back away slowly (what a smart boi) as he watched three of his teammates run around like headless chickens.

 

“What in the Gods’ names is going on here?!”

 

A new voice alerted everyone and all of the headless chickens (and Keith) froze, heads whipping to the door in synchronisation.

 

“Lance! Get off Shiro now! Coran! I don't know what your doing but I need you to check the cryo pods, I need them in top condition for the next mission! Shiro! We need to talk, meet me on the bridge! Now.” And just like that, the princess turns on her heel, the stress of Zarkon looming over her still making her stiff.

 

Understandable.

 

Very much so.

 

Lance waits for Coran to heave a sigh and walk out of the training room with a slight spring in his step, hardly affected by Allura’s adopted clean cut attitude.

 

“Can you get off me now?” Shiro spoke up when Lance didn't move. He sounded slightly frazzled and out of breath.

 

“Gack!” Lance made a very unattractive sound as he jumped off Shiro, landing in a heap on his tailbone. Feeling the vibrations shudder through his body.

 

And _not_  the nice way.

 

Well look at that, at least the Galra didn’t mess with his sex drive.

 

“Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow ow….” Lance quickly got up, ignoring Shiro’s outward stretched arms and a small wince from Keith who was still spectating. Lance started muttering quietly.

 

“Ooohhhhh what a great day what a _fucking fantastic_  day...god I can't even be bothered pretending to be okay now; fuck my life I should have killed myself when I had he chance. _Fuck. It. All._ ”

 

Lance spoke as he limped across the training room, chanting under his breath, sadly not as quiet as he thought. The other two heard every word. Lance trained his eyes on the floor, clutching his elbow (the skin had broken when he fell) as he walked to the exit.

 

A hard chest blocked his only escape route.

 

“What did you say?” Shiro’s sharp leader voice made Lance flinch, the swish of clothing alerted him the Keith was standing behind him, blocking him from backing away.

 

Lance just groaned.

 

Instead of putting up the farce like he usually does, Lance just stares at Shiro, the gears in his head turning, thinking what to say and what not to say.

 

“Get out of my way.” Was all he said, the eerie adopted stare putting Shiro on edge.

 

“No, you have some explaining to do.”

 

 _To all of us_. 

 

He didn’t say it, but Lance heard it loud and clear.

 

Lance heard a soft affirmative grunt from behind him.

 

Suddenly he spins and Keith takes a step back from surprise, and fear of the cold, cold ice in Lance’s eyes.

 

“I don’t know if Allura told you, but I’m pretty fucked up, okay? I’ve been through Hell and back and then to Hell again, my life is a fucking merry-go-round, and I’m buckled in for the ride!” Lance spins back to Shiro, his mouth working on overdrive now, “No offense Shiro, I mean, you probably saw stuff you shouldn’t have and yadda yadda, but you were like, what, twenty? Well, lucky for you my friend! My first encounter with the fucking Galra was when I was six!” The stunned faces didn’t stop Lance like they should have, he just kept on rambling, unable to bear the silence anymore.

 

“My whole family were a bunch of space hippies! My mom was Altean, kind of, my dad was Cuban and at the right place at the wrong time, met my mother and poof! There’s me! But oh no, that’s not all, I was fucking kidnapped by a Galra! Who knows how! And frankly, I stopped asking myself that a long time ago! But then I was experimented on. _Oh look, let’s see how he reacts if I do this? Will he retain permanent brain damage if I do that? Oh well only one way to find out!_ Let’s give him synthetic skin while we’re at it! That’s why you can’t see any of the scars. I was skinned alive!”

 

He didn’t mean to let that teensy weensy detail out, but judging form Shiro’s (and probably Keith’s) small wince wince and shudder, he should have.

 

Lance knew he was hysterical and out of control, but he also knew that it was bound to happen, he was just lucky it was sooner rather than later. Rather break now while before he’s actually entrusted with anything important.

 

“Lance–!” Keith was interrupted by Lance before he could say any more. Lance turned to Keith again, the look in his eyes were eery and feral.

 

“Oh no, no no no no no no no. _No_. Just no. Don’t you dare interrupt me. I need to say something or I’ll hear the voices again! I don’t want to hear the voices! Do you know how it feels? To have actually killed someone when your eight?! Eight, Keith! I had just started third grade tutoring! I couldn’t even do long division, but I knew how to kill someone, I know where the major arteries are! I know how to draw out a kill or end it quickly!

 

“You wondered why I knew how to use a gun?! That’s why! _Okay?!_ Happy!? Are all of you happy now?! First it was my– what I thought were my closest friends and now it’s from people who I barely know! I’m sorry I assumed I had a right to privacy! (**I don’t know why I didn’t kill my therapists! They kept saying stuff about how I wasn’t the cold monster I think I am. None of them understood that there was no thinking about it! I knew it! I knew it then and I know it now and I–!**)”

 

(** = spoken in Spanish)

 

Lance took in a deep breath, his face was flushed and his lungs were burning with the lack of oxygen. He hadn’t even noticed the sting of his eyes and the sticky, half dried tears that made his skin itch, he started to scratch his face absent minded, harder than necessary, hard enough for it to hurt and almost break the skin.

 

Shiro and Keith just watch in horror as they watch their fellow paladin sink to the ground, his hands scratching at his face as if to claw off all the invisible blood tattooed on his skin.

 

Suddenly, Shiro was the first one to break out of his trance and quickly ducked down to scoop the trembling Lance into his arms, looking for the two people who seemingly knew him the best, if that didn’t help, Shiro wouldn’t know what to do.

 

He didn’t like not knowing what to do.

 

As he speed walks, he hears Keith straggling behind a few steps, and then jogging in time, his eyes scanning the rooms for anything and anyone. His senses were on overdrive and he was restless and confused. Relying more on his instncts to protect than really digest the onslaught of information chucked at his face.

 

“Hunk!” Shiro shouts as they get to the kitchen, they see Hunk putting some weird smelling green icing on top of a very unnatural red cake. It didn’t look appetizing at all.

 

Said Samoan boy turned, his eyes widened when he saw Lance in a foetal position in Lance’s arms, shaking and on the edge of consciousness, and his panicky nature overdrived.

 

“ _Holy Cheese!_ ”

 

**~**

 

_Lance dreamt; or did he? It felt like he was seeing two visions, one of blurred faces and one of blue skies, blue sea, blue…sand? In fact, everything was a different shade of blue, there was a patch of grass in the half sand half grassy ground, every single blade shimmered a shade of periwinkle in the blue sun. The blue light was ominous, but in no way frightening. As a breeze blew by his face and he felt his shoulders relax, the blurry faces fading out of his peripheral._

_It was as if he were wearing a blue tinted screen over his vision._

_And it was gorgeous._

_It was peaceful, and for once in his god forsaken life, Lance felt at ease, his shoulders dropped, his eyes closed, his face relaxed, neither smiling nor frowning, just in that perfect in-between that he really needed in his life._

_A growl behind him spurred his eyes open, but instead of whipping around, Lance slowly turns to look behind him, sitting there was a lioness about twice his height, her eyes were all yellow and her fur was a matte blue and the tips of her ears faded into a light shade of grey._

**“Why?”** _His voice echoed slightly, as if he was in a large room; rebounding on invisible walls._

_A small rumble in her chest was all he got in response as she turned her face to stare out at the discernable horizon the dark blue paired with the powder blue was amazing, Lance looked in the same way, he closed his eyes again._

_And slowly, ever so slowly, the slight breeze quieted, no longer tugged on his skin and clothes, he felt the ground falling, not abruptly, but slowly, like Lance was flying for the first time. Slow and steady._

_And he just stayed there, in the void._

_The comforting whoosh of the waves in the back of his eyes soothing him._

**“You‘re amazing beautiful…”** _he muttered as the blackness started to ebb into his consciousnes._

 

_TO BE CONTINUED..._


	2. The Blue Sun Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance a teensy weensy little flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so...
> 
> Update?
> 
> Just a heads up, I’m usually going to take longer to update rather than now, I’ve already written a few of the beginning chapters so I just need to proofread.
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> Also the story is going to very very very _very_ loosely follow the plot and things will happen differently, so I would recommend you watch the entire show.
> 
> ;^}

“ _Is he breathing? I can’t tell.”_

 

_“Oh god please please /please/ don’t be dead! Is he dead? He’s dead isn’t he?!”  
_

 

 _“Calm down Hunk, he’s breathing._ ”

 

“Hey look, his eyes are opening.”

 

Lance’s eyes flutter open, the dim lighting in whatever room they were in made the back of his eyes throb. Six extremely concerned faces stared down at him, as soon as he opens his eyes though, everyone seemed to release a long sigh. Tension from everyone’s shoulders dropped and suddenly Lance was overwhelmed by how everyone was crowded around him.

 

Too close.

 

They were _too close._

 

Questions and voices were thrown at him and everyone’s faces closed in, the ceiling was caving and Lance’s breathing became shallow as he became overwhelmed. Flashes of purple and red switching between the dim room.

 

“ _Get away from me!_ ” Lance screeched as he brought up his arms to protect his face, elbows protruding as he jumped up, the six faces that didn’t register in his mind were then jerked back, and Lance scrambled away. Crawling on his hands and knees to get to the lit up doorway. The desperation and fatigue making his movements jerky and uncoordinated.

 

“Lance!” Different voices collectively shouted at him, and Lance jumped up and ran, pushing himself to go faster as he heard footsteps chase after him.

 

He ran frantically, down hallways and ducking his head behind to check for any in pursuit, his eyes widened as he only saw the big bulky man with monochrome hair and one with– _is that a mullet?!_

 

Lance was doubly terrified.

 

He looked forward again, focusing on moving his legs faster.

 

Now, Lance wasn’t the most coordinated man, sure he could fly a ship, does acrobatics and gymnastics, he could dance too! But running...no.

 

That was why he tripped over nothing, face planting with a surprising amount of grace that astonished both Keith and Shiro, who halted in their footsteps as they watched.

 

“ _Oomph!_ ”

 

Lance knew his nose was bleeding.

 

His dignity too, all over the floor in a little puddle.

 

The pain was minimal as he quickly pushed himself up, crawling backwards on the ground on his hands.

 

“G-get away from me! I-I want to go home! It’s m-my friend’s birthday! Please! You can do whatever tomorrow! I promised to him I would be there! Please–!”

 

“ _Lance._  Stop, we’re not going to hurt you.” Keith spoke up, surprising Shiro, Keith crouched down with his hands up where Lance could see them, Shiro followed his lead soon after. The fear in Lance’s eyes were now more sceptical than fearful.

 

“That’s right. It’s okay, no one is going to hurt you anymore, okay?”

 

Shiro spoke this time, taking note of Lance’s posture relaxing, still on guard.

 

“W-where am I?”

 

New terror filled his eyes, had they decided to take him away? From the small minuscule of a normal life he had managed to salvage? Why–?

 

“Lance.” Both Shiro and Keith spoke at the same time, “Do you know who we are?”

 

“Y-You’re not th-them...” Lance muttered, looking at Shiro and then his arm, his eyes subtly widened as Keith smiled at him.

 

“That’s right,” Shiro kept talking, “We are Team Voltron, I am Shi–! Takashi Shirogane, the black paladin, remember me?”

 

Recognition passed through Lance’s eyes and Shiro kept talking.

 

 _Champion_. Lance thought to himself.

 

“This is Keith- the red paladin-!”

 

“Mullet-man…” Lance muttered, a weak smile gracing his face.

 

“Wha–!”

 

“Yes.” Shiro pressed on, not letting Keith argue.

 

And like a flash flood, a cascade of memories hit Lance and he sees flashes of people, his _friends._

 

“Okay...okay...um...I uh, I remember…” Lance sheepishly looked away from the two, relief and embarrassment apparent. He dusts himself off slightly and gets up, a little wobbly on his legs, but nothing he couldn’t handle.

 

After all, he’s been skinned alive before.

 

“Well, I’m going to go take a bath, I feel like I deserve it, I do need some _me_ time after all.” Lance grins, but it falls short.

 

To say walking back was awkward was an understatement.

 

As they were walking back, Lance tries fit the puzzles in his head, his small episode gave him a headache and he could only think about how he really, _really_ needed a hot shower.

 

**~**

 

Lance was sitting in the common room with Hunk, he slowly stood up, cracking his back and hearing satisfying pops after a bit. Hunk just looked up at him from his tablet and shivered, he still hadn’t talked to Lance seriously, and he didn’t know how to, only that he, really, really should–

 

Lance was scratching his head, oblivious to Hunk’s small peril, he had the most disturbing dream when he was napping on the couch, he dreamt that he’d told both Keith and Shiro everything…well not _everything_ , just…too much, and it was putting him on edge, who knew _what_ l he muttered when he was asleep, wait...why were they all crowded around him when he woke up? He was taking a beauty nap...right? Did he miss something?

  

At least he was still a blabbermouth.

  

The Galra didn’t take that from him either at least.

 

Sex drive and the inability to keep his mouth shut.

 

Joy.

 

“Hey Hunk, why was everyone all up in my face?” Lance’s demeanour suggested relaxation as he leaned on the kitchen bench. Both still felt a bit awkward about the last night.

  

“You…” Hunk turned to Lance, forgetting whatever he was doing, and looked at Lance with worried eyes.

 

This only spiked his suspicion, he _must_ have done something...oh god, please, _please_  don’t have mentioned how he lived on Earth–

 

“Lance, we need to talk.”

 

The steel voice behind Lance made him spin, grabbing his heart and wheezing.

 

“Jeez Keith! You almost gave me a heart attack; can you go one minute without being...you?!”

 

Lance snapped his jaw shut, both Hunk and Keith widened their eyes, Hunk stood up gingerly, as if to stop any more arguing.

 

Lance hadn’t meant to say that. He didn’t mean it; he was just thinking about...about…

 

Lance had a flashback of his dream, it was so...vivid, disturbingly so, maybe…no. No way Lance would let himself drop his bearings like that.

  

_Right?_

 

“Hunk, I need to talk to Lance.”

 

Lance didn’t say anything, and Hunk just stared at him, eyes that he refused to meet.

 

“Lance?” Hunk’s voice was questioning, asking him if he wanted him to leave, the blue paladin just sighed.

 

_I should have expected this sooner or later._

 

“If you don’t mind Hunk…”

 

“Oh…okay.” Lance winced as Hunk sounded the tiniest bit hurt. But walked out of the room, as soon as the slide door closed, Keith closed in on Lance, who flinched and stepped backwards, surprised by the sudden closeness.

 

“You are going to tell me everything you know about the Galra.” Keith’s eyes were the same purple as the stalactite that Sendak had used to cut–

 

Lance took a sudden intake of breath, a look of fear flashing in his eyes before he speaks.

 

“What are you talking about? I know just as much as you.”

 

“That’s not what you said yesterday, you–!”

  

“Keith!” Shiro suddenly walked in, his face was anything but happy, Lance on the other hand was quite shaken and felt like he was about to be ambushed by questions.

  

“Well, looks like you need to talk to Mullet-man over here, so I’m gonna go bounce, see ya!” Lance runs out of the room before either could stop him.

 

He ran straight to his room and smashed the lock button he had discovered how to use not too long ago. Succumbing to his fears.

 

 _Thank god for sound proof walls_  he thinks to himself as he screams as he falls deeper into the black, tears pooling.

 

The blue sun was long gone.

 

**~**

 

“Keith.” Shiro’s voice was somehow disappointed, irritated and weary at the same time, making Keith curl into himself but he still stood his ground.

 

“He has answers, Shiro, we can use–!”

 

“Keith!” Shiro still hasn’t said anything but his name, but Keith felt like he was being reprimanded for every single bad thing he’s done in his life. His resolve was slowly crumbling.

 

“H-He might know how to end the war…” Keith mumbled, to convince Shiro or himself he didn’t know. Shiro’s eyes softened.

 

“Give him time...he’s been with the Galra for longer than I have Keith, and he was a _kid._  If he starts to become unstable, well, _more_  unstable, _then_ we’ll do something, but no pushing for answers. Just act like normal for now.

 

Understood?”

 

Shiro’s level headed gaze made Keith shrink more, if possible, he just mumbled an affirmative.

 

Shiro let out a sigh and walked away, probably to the training room.

 

Keith shoved his hands in his pocket and kicked some non existent dust with his shoe.

 

“Fuck.”

 

_Fuck indeed._

 

**~**

 

Lance’s sobs started to subside, he felt a voice in the back of his head telling him he was pathetic for crying over the most obvious reaction to their ‘enlightenment’ to the situation.

 

Suddenly, the small room was bathed in red and a deafening screech of the alarm was blaring, Lance quickly sat up, feeling a headache coming on at the sudden jolt.

 

“Paladins!” Allura’s voice sounded, and Lance relaxed, gosh, he didn’t know Alteans were so _bad_ at acting, it honestly just made Lance want to cry a bit more. He chuckled to himself as he quickly washed his face, jumped into his armour, and grabbed his helmet, running out the door.

 

“That was atrocious!!”

  

Allura was screaming at all of them in a line, her hair in bun that suited her perfectly, especially in military mode.

 

She looked at each person down the line, save Shiro and Lance who (barely) got there in time. Lance was too busy snickering at Keith’s I-really-don’t-give-a-flying-flip-about-what-you’re-talking-about face.

 

“How come only Lance and Shiro are in armour?! You’re lucky this wasn’t a real drill, otherwise we’d be–!”

 

Suddenly the ship shuddered hard, everyone was caught off balance, Allura ran to the control panel.

 

“Oh quiznak…” everyone heard her mutter, as Lance pushed himself up and looked at the giant holographic screen, his eyes widened and his hands shook.

 

A giant purple and achingly familiar ship was drifting _way_  too close to the castle.

 

“It’s the ship…” Lance muttered, only Keith heard as he quickly looked in Lance’s direction, but a small look from Shiro made him stop.

 

The fact that Lance could recognise a ship identical to so many others unnerved him as much as it didn’t surprise him.

 

“Alright, Paladins, we need you to get to your lions, we have an uninvited guest, lets give them their designated greetings.”

 

 _Destroy them_  is what Lance, and hopefully the rest of the team, heard.

 

“Yes princess!” Shiro shouted and everyone ran to their hangars, Lance hung back for a second, swallowing heavily as he looked at the ship.

 

“Diablo…” he muttered as he ran and ignored Allura’s incredulous and confused look.

 

**~**

 

“Alright team, I want Lance and Hunk to disable the ion cannon, Pidge, scan the ship for prisoners, Keith, you and me take the fighter drones, everyone sknows what they’re doing?”

 

A unanimous “Yeah!” went through the comms.

 

“ _¿Qué hice para merecer esto?_ ” Lance muttered to himself darkly.

  

**Translation: What did I do to deserve this?**

 

Which was a dumb question, a better one would have been: What has he done to _not_ deserve this?

  

“What did you say?!” Keith asked him as he and a Shiro descended on the fighter drones.

 

“Nothing that concerned your little mullet!”

 

Everyone went to do their designated jobs.

 

After a few tries, the ion cannon stayed in one piece, as if taunting him and Hunk.

 

“The ion cannon isn’t breaking?!” Hunk’s hysteric voice spoke over the comms.

 

“Hunk it’s fine, I’ll just–!”

 

“Guys!” Pidge’s voice interrupts, and before Lance can say anything, he keeps talking. “There are cells in the bows of the ship, I’m getting multiple heat signatures, they definitely aren’t Galra!”

 

A shot near him muffles the connection and their is a brief bout of static before Pidge continues.

 

“Some of them seem humanoid!” The last part was probably just for Pidge himself but everyone heard it.

 

“Okay! Change of plans, Keith, you bust a hole into the roof of the ship, Hunk I want you, Pidge to go in and get the prisoners, and then evacuate as fast as possible. Keith, Lance and I will buy you as much time as we can–!”

 

“And us!” Coran’s voice chirps up into the speakers, his face appearing on the holo screens, the mice on his shoulders and Allura in the background controlling the castle.

 

“And you guys, thank you Coran.”

 

Keith shot a hole with his lion big enough for the yellow lion to comfortably fly to and fro.

 

Pidge, with his lion on standby, jumps into the ship with the yellow lion.

 

Lance quickly turns his attention to the onslaught of drones heading their way, guns blazing.

 

“Let’s get this done, I want to just chill out.”

 

Lance’s voice was answered by two affirmative grunts from Shiro and Keith.

 

They destroyed all the drones, Pidge and Hunk saves the prisoners, and they brought a little present too.

 

One present that Lance could have done without.

 

As everyone walks into the med bay’s extra space, Lance freezes and his eyes widen.

 

Sendak was in the pods, immobilised.

 

“What the fuck did you do…?” Lance asks quietly, gaining the attention of his crew who were standing in a semi circle conversing quietly

 

“What did you do?!” Lance was starting to feel more bouts of hysteria, his hands slowly and shakily travelled to his scalp, pulling the locks forcefully.

 

“WHAT THE _FUCK_ DID YOU _DO_?!”

 

The Paladins surround Lance, no one sure how to approach him, he was shrieking the same question loudly again and again until—

 

Lance collapses, his exhaustion finally getting to him from countless sleepless nights.

 

The last thing he sees is Sendak grinning at him from the pod.

 

**~**

 

Lance opens his eyes to the bloody ceiling in his old cell–sorry, _room._

 

“Not again…” he mutters, slowly getting up. He groans as he feels his stiff muscles creak.

 

How many times is he going to have _this_ dream?

 

 _Gotta stop being a damsel in distress...seriously..._  he thinks tiredly as he forces his legs to support his weight, walking around what looked like some sort of cell he’s seen almost every night.

 

The bars were thick (ya know what else is? *wink wink*) and close together, only allowing a thin strip of vision of more blood on the walls, Lance shivers.

 

That’s all of _his_  blood. He would be impressed if he wasn’t petrified.

 

You’d think that he would get used to this right?

 

 _Wrong_.

 

Shining metal and splintering wood cutting out the shapes of torture methods Lance was all too familiar with.

 

As he stands up, trying to get a better view outside like he always does, the slow, harsh and heavy beats of someone’s footsteps sounded. Like they always did.

 

“Well well well, since this is goodbye, I’m going to make this night _extra_ painful.” A drawled and gravelly voice was whispering in Lance’s ear.

 

Sendak.

 

Lance stumbled backwards as he always did.

 

Pleaded on deaf ears even though it was futile.

 

………

……

…

  

_One eye. One arm. One purpose in life._

_To make Lance scream. Keep screaming._

_And scream some more._

 

Lance screams as he jumps out of bed. Thank _god_ the Alteans had soundproof walls. Because these night terrors were really making him a screamer (he already is in more ways than one) and he doesn’t know what he’d do if one of his team had heard him.

 

Probably cry some more, he was pathetic like that.

 

“I want to listen to P!nk…” Lance mutters as he slowly walks to the door and uses the scanner to open the door, as soon as it opens, Shiro was standing there, standing as if he was about to knock.

 

He looked like he was going to cry. It terrified Lance, too much to handle in his brain that wasn’t fully awake yet.

 

“Sh-Shiro?! What’s wrong?!”

 

He doesn’t say anything but just walks into the room, Lance follows him and shuts the door and locks it just in case.

 

He felt dread poke at his ribs.

 

As Lance looks at Shiro again, he’s pacing fast, messing his hair with his hands, pulling it occasionally, his eyes were worried and wet, stray tears started to trace the edge of his nose.

 

Lance was internally freaking out.

 

_What the hell am I supposed to do?! Shiro doesn’t want to be consoled by me! Allura could’ve helped him, why–?!_

 

“Lance.” Shiro interrupted Lance’s thoughts, he was now standing in Lance’s bubble, staring at him with eyes that made Lance wince. He somehow looked mad, sad, uncomfortable _and_ disappointed.

 

How does someone _do_ that?

 

“I need you,” Shiro was careful now, holding Lance’s forearms in a gentle bit firm grip, keeping him from running.

 

Lance felt dread pool in his stomach.

 

“to tell me _everything_  you know about the Galra.”

 

Lance’s eyes widened and he felt his head shaking as he stared at Shiro.

 

“P-please don’t….” Lance whispered, for so long he’d been able to compose his face (not in Space but that doesn’t count), while his mind ran in circles, but now his mind...his mind isn’t a place someone like Lance can compose.

 

It was a storm.

 

His whisper was raspy, the screaming from before burned.

 

“I heard you scream, Lance. I–!” Shiro’s voice caught.

 

“H-how...I- I thought the rooms were soundproof…”

 

“Not when you’re at the door, Lance. I don’t want you to be alone. Okay? I-I _know_  what your feeling, I-I–!” Shiro’s voice was getting shaky and uncertain.

 

“I’ve been feeling like this ever since I can remember Shiro, you don’t know how I feel. I’m not saying your feelings are invalid Shiro, they are, but...”

 

Lance, in an odd but empowering surge of confidence, slowly brings up his palms to Shiro’s cheeks, wiping them with his thumbs gently.

 

“But–!”

 

Lance wasn’t having it.

 

“I hope you never do.”

 

There was tense silence, the two just stared at each other, searching the other for who knows what. Some sort of consolation…?

 

Or a solution to the loneliness?

 

“I don’t know _how_  they dealt with you in great detail, and you probably don’t remember it, but...we’ve met before...on Zarkon’s main ship. Me and…” Lance’s already dim eyes for darker, “my family…we were prisoners and I…they took me. I saw them take you, I saw the Galra that helped you too.”

 

This information caught Shiro off guard. The Galra? Helping him? There was no way that was possible.

 

Although…

  

It _was_  pretty convenient.

 

And his memory is put of whack still. Lance seems like he remembers everything.

 

A blessing and a curse.

 

“Shiro, I know you probably don’t believe me and you probably hate the Galra, but there is a group, the–!”

  

A knock at the door interrupted Lance.

 

“Lance…?” Hunk’s cautious voice carries into the room.

 

Lance had an internal debate, whether to answer or ignore Hunk, he was telling Shiro something important, that they had allies, sorely needed ones at that.

 

But he wasn’t sure if it would work out...he still had to try.

 

Lance didn’t say anything, and the sad and defeated sigh on the other side of the door only twisted the knife in his heart deeper. Hunk’s footsteps echoed in his brain.

 

He leaned forward, suddenly tired, resting his head on Shiro’s right shoulder, away from his Galra arm, and sighed and gave a half hearted chuckle.

 

“Oh god, I should have died on that motherfucking ship.”

 

“Hey–!”

 

Lance lifted his hands to cover Shiro’s mouth, lifting his head to trace the line of Shiro’s neck with his nose, stopping at his ear to whisper:

 

“Find the Blade of Marmora, they _will_ help you.” He chuckled again, but it sounded fake to even his ears, and moved his head slightly back, though their chests were still touching, that did not escape Shiro’s attention, “Now that I’ve told you something, you owe me, tell me something about you.”

 

Lance looked up at Shiro expectantly, feeling a completely inappropriate rush of pride as he sees his leader’s face with a prominent red blush at his closeness.

 

“I-um...e-eh…?”

 

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?!_ Shiro struggles on the inside to form words, he was too focused on the fact that Lance looked hot as /hell/ right now, and he was really.../really/ close.

 

Lance’s laugh sounded like bells.

 

“It’s okay, I’m kidding,” they both knew he wasn’t, “but, could you send Keith in here for a second? Tell him to bring _the_ knife, not a knife, _the_ knife, I literally couldn’t be any clearer on this.”

 

“What–?”

 

“He’ll know what I’m talking about.”

 

“O-okay…”

 

(This boy is already _WHIPPED_ )

 

**~**

 

Lance was checking his nails as he heard a knock at his door, he just drawled out a lazy, ‘Come in’ and the door slid open. Standing there was a casually clothed Keith, Lance could see the handle of the Galra knife poking out of his pocket.

 

“How did you know about–!”

 

Before he could finish, Lance pulled Keith into his room, effectively shutting him up.

 

“Sit.”

 

Keith obeyed. He lowered himself on the bed, looking at Lance curiously, and cautiously, but Lance just ignored that.

 

Keith was being careful, and he was being safe, and that is good.

 

Still stung though.

 

Lance took a deep breath and set his shoulders.

 

Like ripping off a bandaid.

 

“So...you’re half Galra.”

 

_TO BE CONTINUED..._

 


	3. Begin Training Sequence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is...not okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....
> 
> I’m not dead.
> 
> (Yet)
> 
>  
> 
> _Anyway_
> 
>  
> 
> So i know I haven’t updated is AAAGGGEEESSSSSS and I honest to God forgot to.
> 
> Sorry about that.
> 
> I just wanted to say that I promise I works finish this story, I did start it on a whim but I really like what I’ve done.
> 
> So, if anyone has a any suggestions or requests don’t hesitate to comment at all, I’ll do my best with whatever. :333

Keith stared up at Lance, who looked just as surprised as he felt.

 

Keith stayed silent, eerily despondent as he waits for Lance to start talking. The blue paladin swallows as he scrambles for something else to say.

 

“I–um, look, I don’t know everything. I just knew your mom and–!”

 

At the mention of his mother Keith quickly stands up and surges forward, anger, curiosity and a lingering sense of fear reflecting in his eyes, Lance had to take a step back.

 

“Tell me more.”

 

Lance looked at Keith’s eyes swirling with emotion, still a bit fearful at the colour.

 

“Stop looking at me.”

 

Keith looks surprised, but he complied, he needed to know everything he could, fighting would get him nowhere.

 

Keith flicks his eyes towards his shoes, glaring holes as he waits with anticipation and fear.

 

“In the Galra, not everyone is loyal to Zarkon,” Keith makes a surprised grunt, but Lance continues, “there is a rebel group, the Blade of Marmora, your mother was one of them. I—she almost saved me from Zarkon.” Lance’s voice was getting thick and Keith was using what little self control he had to not shake Lance to spill.

  

“When I met her, I saw a picture of you, she showed me letters your dad had sent her, she said your name was Keith and you—you looked so happy. I was so jealous.”

 

Keith moved before he knew what he was doing, he held Lance in a hug, tucking his head in the crook of his neck.

 

Lance’s shaky arms clutched the back of his black shirt, he took a shuddering breath and continued.

 

“And when they put me at the Garrison, it was to find the Blue Lion, they said that–!” His voice cracked but Lance kept pushing, he couldn’t cry anymore than he already has, it’s pathetic, especially in front of Keith. “That they would kill my family, and when they did–! When they did, they said they’d kill Hunk and Pidge if I didn’t cooperate. And I couldn’t–I couldn’t let them die, they didn’t even _know_ aliens existed, well, Pidge did, but whatever! And I–I found out who you were after I learnt your name, and I felt so _jealous,_ you were so talented! And I–I just wanted to know I could get in without the help of fucking aliens and I–!”

 

“Hey.” Keith knew when someone was going into hysterics, he needed to distract Lance. As he was wracking his brain, Lance spoke up.

 

“You remind me of her you know.”

 

Keith pulled back, and he looked at Lance’s downturned eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“You remind me of her. Keith I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s–we’re–!”

 

Suddenly the alarm blared and the two jumped away from each other.

 

(coCK BLOCKING MUCH)

 

“I swear when did I become such a cry-baby? I can handle being skinned alive but I can’t even freaking handle emotional conversation—!”

 

Lance quickly muttered as he shoved on his uniform, and ran out, leaving Keith to look behind him in bewilderment before running to his own room.

 

“Ya learn somethin’ new err’yday.” Keith’s old Texan drawl came back as he felt emotions bubble inside him.

 

**~**

 

“What happened?!” Keith asked breathlessly as he reached the bridge. Allura and the other paladins were all surrounding the command station, worried looks etched into their faces.

 

“Where’s Lance?” Pidge pops up on Hunk’s shoulder as he adjusts his glasses. He was typing fast on his computer which was connected to the control panel.

 

“What?” Keith turned around, Lance nowhere to be seen, Keith’s eyes scanned the empty hallway anyway, “He was just behind me!”

 

“We need to find him quickly.” Shiro’s voice made Keith whip his head towards him, his voice was uncharacteristically worried.

 

“Why?” The faces of his teammates minus Coran were making him worried, wait...where is Coran? Allura rarely goes anywhere without her royal advisor with her.

 

“There’s something wrong with the castle, it seems some of Sendak’s...essence has affected the crystal and therefore the ship.”

 

Keith and Shiro both tensed at the name of Lance’s apparent tormentor. All the more reason to find him straight away.

 

“What do you mean ‘essence’?”

 

The princess looked slightly irked but Keith asked anyway.

 

“It means, that Lance could be in imminent danger if we don’t find him quickly.”

  

That was all Keith need to hear before he bolted. Heavy footsteps behind him alerted of someone trailing him, Keith looked behind him to see Hunk and Shiro both running as well.

 

The three reached a hall that split into two other routes, the hallways were eerily silent; only the hum of the castle any sign of life.

 

“Hunk, you and Keith go that way.” Shiro directed, he was obviously on edge with the way his voice sounded stiff.

 

“Right.” Keith spat.

 

“Roger.” Hunk mirrored.

 

The three split up, Shiro going through the passage on the left, Hunk and Keith going on the right.

 

“So brief me, Allura wasn’t being super clear on what’s happening.” Keith quickly asked without looking away from the space in front of him, briefly scanning the doorways, all of them were empty.

 

“Well, you know how we got Sendak? Allura and Coran wanted to dig through his mind. Don’t ask.”

 

Keith shut his mouth, about to ask how that was possible, it was probably too technical for him anyway.

 

“And so, he was sort of connected to the castle’s crystal, he infected it and kind of, um, ejected himself into space. He’s messing with the castle, like, a, um…”

  

“Like a virus.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

That’s when the lights flickered.

 

**~**

 

“Come on...come on, where are you Lance?” Shiro was checking every room he came across, becoming more and more anxious with every time he saw an empty room.

 

As he ran even further into the castle he felt the unmistakable eight of dread curling in his gut.

  

“Please be okay.”

 

**~**

 

“What the hell?!” Lance shouted as he dodged a rogue robot that was repeatedly trying to hit him with it’s staff. He saw a flurry of movement behind him and he was swept away Fromm keith while they were running.

 

Of _course_  it’s when Lance isn’t wearing his paladin armour, of _course_  it’s around the same time he feels emotionally imbalanced, of- _fucking course!_

 

After a flurry of movement, Lance managed to get a graze from the staff and lost his balance–

 

And fell right into the airlock–

 

–and they closed in front of him.

 

“Hey!” Lance banged the glass of the doors, they wouldn’t budge, he redoubled his efforts as he heard the countdown.

 

“Someone let me out!” He incessantly screamed as he hit the door repeatedly, he could feel nausea creeping up on him as he forced it down.

 

 _They’re coming_ , he thought to himself as he kept banging the glass, _I hope_.

 

That thought sent him on a frenzy. His vision blurred as he caught a moving blob of red.

 

He almost doubled over with relief at seeing Keith’s face on the other side, robot on the floor, legs severed, opening the door for him and closing it behind him just as the outer doors opened, barely tugging at his jacket.

 

“Thank god.” Lance heard Keith mutter, but he didn’t really absorb it as he was panting, hands on knees as he quells the panic that was about to make him faint, ( _again_ , like seriously how many times is he going to faint? Jeez.) he stood up straight as he saw Hunk and Shiro file in.

 

He gave them the best smile he could give, judging by their worried faces easing a bit, it might’ve done the job. For once.

 

“Let’s get to the bridge…” Shiro says as he eyes the robot, Lance could see now the legs not far at the base of the wall.

 

“Ooooh, the Princess is _not_  going to be happy about that.”

 

Lance looks over at Hunk who gave the robot less than a glance as he walked over, quickly enveloping Lance in a hug, who in turn immediately melted into.

  

(Shiro and Keith _totally_  weren’t giving that a stink-eye as they walked back.)

 

As the four reached the bridge, they saw Pidge fiddling with something and Allura was at her command station, Coran waved to the them.

 

“Great! You found Lance!” Coran put a protective hand on Lance’s shoulder, tightening his fingers ever so slightly, he was worried for the boy. “Now,” he continues, leading the others to where Pidge was, “these two were thinking that we could reboot the castle systems, flush Sendak out of our hair.”

 

Both Shiro and Lance tensed at the guy’s name but Coran continued as if he didn’t notice.

 

“Now all of you, buckle up at your stations, and put your helmets on, the air filtration will stop and so will the gravity, and we can’t have any of our paladins die can we!”

 

“Well,”

 

“Shiro shut the fuck up.”

 

**~**

 

After the reboot, everyone split off to their own things, Pidge fiddled with stuff no one really cared about, Hunk inventoried the kitchen and its supplies, Allura went to her chambers to rest, Coran did...stuff.

 

Lance went to the training room, Shiro and Keith followed, neither wanted to leave him alone, and both wanted answers.

 

**~**

 

 _Well, at least I don’t have to act happy all the time anymore_ , Lance looked through the weapons displayed, his first choice was a bow and arrow, but he knew he had to get accustomed to his rifle.

 

 _Shame though, I thought I could keep the rouse up longer...I really am as weak as they said, don’t know why they gave me such a delicate job_.

 

As Lance activated the levels, he went through the motions like it was second nature, which it was, he gradually upped the levels when it called for it and barely breaking a sweat, he was painfully aware of the two pairs of eyes following his movements.

 

_I want them to know I’m strong, that I won’t hurt them...but…what if they see what /those/ people saw in me, what if they abandon me?!_

  

This sudden change in his mindset made Lance’s movements jerky and uncoordinated, earning him a few face plants and painful jabs.

 

He grunted as he took a very bad hit, falling on his back, winded.

  

“End training sequence.”

  

He looked up from the ground, leaning on one elbow as he looked up at Shiro and Keith who were looking at him worriedly and walking over to him.

  

Shiro gave him his flesh hand, Lance looked at it uncertainly but gingerly lifted a hand, letting Shiro pull him up effortlessly. He slumped, only just feeling the exhaustion coming down from his adrenaline high.

 

“Here.”

 

A water pouch appears in front of Lance’s face and he looks up at Keith’s face.

 

“Thanks…” he mutters as he sucks the straw, the water spread a cool and nice feeling on his chest, already feeling more energised he stands up straight, Shiro’s arm stays around his waist though, but no one comments on it.

 

There was an awkward silence then, no one knew what to do or say to break the ice, so they just stood there and looked at each other and the floor, everyone in their own little worlds. Thankfully no one needed to, as the door to the training room opened and Coran’s head poked out of the side.

 

“Good–!” Shiro was cut off by the door to the training room open.

 

“Ah! There you three are! It’s time for evening nourishment! Hurry to the table please!”

 

Coran’s head disappeared and the other three could hear his receding footsteps and him whistling to some foreign tune.

 

“Let’s go.” Shiro starts walking to the door, dragging Lance with him, unrelenting his grip on his waist, Keith on Lance’s other side, not really touching but close enough that he could feel Lance’s body heat.

 

“What were you going to say?” Lance asked gingerly, looking at the floor in front of them.

 

“I was going to say good job at getting to level 14 all by yourself, you did really good.”

 

Keith just grunted in affirmative.

 

“Well, I didn’t like it, I felt like a crazy workaholic that favours red and has style choices from the 80’s and my skin felt all crawly.”

 

Shiro laughed and Keith squawked in outrage, but before he could do anything, they’d gotten to the kitchen doors.

 

Lance just giggled.

 

Pidge coughed when they entered the dining room like that. Hitting his chest with his small fist as Hunk frets around him.

 

“Um…what’s for dinner?”

 

Lance tries to smooth of the awkward that was sitting in the room, giving his best plastic smile, (not that it fooled anyone but Allura bc she’s oblivious as fuck here sorry) and gently coercing Shiro’s arm from his waist to sit down next to Hunk.

 

Shiro sat across from him and Keith sat on his other side, Lance purposely ignored their repetitive glances, looking at him very few seconds.

 

It was awkward to say the least.

 

Pidge cleared his throat, and all attention went to him.

 

“Lance,” he addresses the blue paladin who was still stirring the spoon inside the green substance looks up, “I–...I’m sorry. About,” Pidge kept talking to stop Lance about to wave it off, “rooting inside your brain, you were right, I should have known better about it…I feel like I need to tell you a secret too.”

 

“You–!” Lance started, looking hella mortified.

 

“It’s not going to be as life changing as you originally being captured by the Galra, so don’t expect much...but this may change the way you think about me, and how we act as a team so…”

 

Pidge cleared his throat again, looking uncomfortable.

 

“Pidge you don’t have to do this–!”

 

“Yes, I do Lance, I breached a really delicate level of privacy, bonding exercise or not.”

 

Lance opened his mouth to protest again but a look from Shiro across the table stopped him, so he just slumped and relaxed and gave Pidge his full attention, Lance felt that Pidge deserved that respect because _he_  knew that Pidge knew that Pidge easily could have gotten away with a heartfelt apology.

 

But the fact that he was doing this for Lance’s sake made him light with glee and heavy with guilt.

 

“I’m a girl.”

 

…

  

Well that wasn’t what he expected.

 

“My name isn’t Pidge Gunderson…” He- no _she_ took a deep breath, not looking up from the table top. Lance could see her eyes starting to water.

 

“It’s-!”

 

“That’s enough, thank you Pidge.”

 

Pidge looked up at Lance, she looked so grateful, and Lance gave her his best smile, it fell flat but no one said anything.

 

“So what pronouns do you prefer?”

 

”She and her, please.”

 

Pidge was smiling down at her goo.

 

 It was an awkward silence, but Coran wasn’t having it and he stood up, twirling his moustache.

  

“Well, this is all well and good, but we didn’t really get to actual training before we had some…incidents…now,” he claps his hands and pertains eye contact with everyone on the table, “It’s about high time for you lot to head to bed.”

 

Allura nods and stands up, “Thank you Coran, I will see you all ready in the training room early next quintant

 

“She means early tomorrow.” Lance clarifies as he stands up as well, cracking his back and knuckles, ignoring the horrified looks of Allura and Coran.

 

**~**

 

As Lance helped Coran with the dishes, he quickly wipes his hand with the rag the moustached man had given him.

 

“Goodnight my boy! Tell me if you need any help sleeping, I’m assuming you know what Cxendaphir is?”

 

Lance nods as he smiles at Coran.

 

“Yeah, there’s something like that on Earth, it’s called morphine, but instead of just making someone unconscious it makes them loopy, like they’re intoxicated or something, it’s really hard to explain, sorry.” Lance says sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck.

 

“No worries! That’s plenty of information, but would you still like some?”

 

“No…I’m…I’m going to try to sleep without it, don’t want to start getting dependant you know? Don’t know what’ll happen, I’d rather be in control so...”

 

Lance is lying through his teeth; he couldn’t stand having anymore sedatives of any sort.

  

The Galra made sure he would fear every second he wasn’t in control, they made sure he could never have a proper night’s rest.

 

“Alright my boy, if you ever decide you do, just give me a call!”

  

**~**

 

Lance was lying spread eagle on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he hated and loved these rooms; they were so similar yet so different from the Galra prisons.

 

At least it wasn’t purple.

 

**~**

 

Lance was out of his room, hands in pockets as he walked through the hallways, the dim lights cast shadows across the walls and the floor. His footsteps were silent. He looked up at the dim window of the control room, gazing up at the stars as he always did make him feel less trapped.

 

Lance inaudibly sighed as he walked to the edge of the window, sitting cross-legged, he looked up, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

 

**“Sunnday, wakeup, give me a cigarette–**

**_Last night’s love affair is looking vulnerable in my bed–_ **

**_Silk sheet, blue dawn–_**  

**_Colgate, tongue warm-!”_ **

  

Lance froze as he heard a slight shuffling behind him, and he bit his tongue as he clamped his mouth shut.

  

He slowly looked at the reflection of the cool glass in front of him to see who was behind him.

  

It was Shiro.

 

…and he was crying?

 

His silhouette was mostly the only thing visible in the glass but the slight shaking of his hulking shoulders was unmistakable.

 

“You should be in bed.” Lance says, still looking outside as he relaxes his tensed muscles, trying to give of the air of someone _not_ constantly plagued by nightmare and terrors and such.

 

Obviously you can’t pretend to someone who feels like that too.

 

“I can say the same to you.”

 

“What? No you can’t, I’m a healthy teenage boy, staying up late at night is my thing! You on the other hand, don’t have the same excuse, you’re like, an old man now.”

  

There was a breathy chuckle behind him and footsteps came up from behind him, Lance glanced to the side to see Shiro standing there in his armour–except his helmet which was in his human arm–gazing at the nebulas as well.

 

“You know, no matter how many times I look, I can never get tired of seeing the stars.” He hears Shiro mutter, and Lance smiles a little to himself.

 

“Yeah I’m right there with you man,”

 

There was a moment of silence as the two internally figure out how to further conversation, and how to get the other to bed respectively. (Shiro slightly blushed when he thought of Lance in his bed, Bad Shiro!)

 

Lance takes a deep breath and let’s out the most realistic yawn he can, which is pretty darn realistic thank you very much.

 

“Well, I’m going to go to bed, if you plan on not dying due to exhaustion during training, I think you should do the same.”

 

**~**

 

When Lance and Shiro parted ways, Lance gave a grim smile when he saw Shiro going towards the kitchen rather than his room, Lance just sighed and let him be.

 

_Well it’s not like I’m actually going to bed either._

 

**~**

 

At the training room, Lance rolled back his shoulders, there was no one here, although he should expect either Shiro or Keith coming in to the training room sometime.

 

Just the thought of all three of them… _alone_ …with everyone else sleeping.

 

Lance barely stopped himself from squealing and blushing into his hands like a schoolgirl, he felt antsy just _thinking_  about them, even though he was sombre not ten minutes ago, just being in the same room as Shiro made him feel better.

 

“Okay, no, we are not doing this, I refuse.” Lance spoke to no one in particular as he shook his head and walked over to the weapons, this time, without hesitating, Lance picked up the bow and quiver of arrows.

 

The bow was gorgeous, it was easily almost two thirds the height of Lance, a dark black with blue accents that Lance could recognise as olden Altean, he could sort of make it out.

 

“Mid…Midnight Glory. Wow, okay that’s cool, not gonna lie.”

 

Lance familiarized himself with the bow, lifting it and miming the movements to shoot an arrow.

 

He walked around the training deck, psyching himself up, this would be the first time he’s picked up a bow for anything except murder.

 

Lance took a deep breath and puffed his chest, taking his time, when he felt he’d at least semi gotten his bearings back, he opened his eyes, a flash of gold flecks flashed in his irises. His voice started to become tougher, and held an old language that hasn’t been heard in a long time

 

_**“Begin training sequence.”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obsessions - Marina And The Diamonds


	4. Hybrids Stick Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...more talking....
> 
> There’s plot soon I _promise_.
> 
> Just bear with me please.

Lance felt like water, fluid and unstoppable, he was adaptable, strong, he wasn’t size he was mass he flowed.

 

He was deadly.

 

As deadly as the ocean.

 

The deep and dark abyss that choked the life out of those stupid enough to dive into the caves of ice.

 

He picked up the bow, lined it up with his eyes as he saw the targets on the other side of the training room, Lance was standing up on a ledge that he fashioned through the training room settings (the controls took a while to figure out since they were so out of date) and he was roiling, thundering, pushing boundaries with his unstoppable gales.

 

Pulsing with _life_.

 

But this was different than usual, his usually cold and icy storm was tinged with warth, like he had at least some idea of clothing that didn’t allow him to freeze to death.

 

Lance just grinned and kept shooting, he kept feeling ice seep into his hands and guide him through, distantly he knew he was being watched, but there was no threat, Lance was better than what he used to be.

 

He’s not as scared anymore.

 

Because whatever will happen, he with prevail, he will wreck the peace and cleanse it, rebirth of a race that was so good, so much of the pain and suffering will end.

 

And it will be because of Lance.

 

A slight rumble in his chest makes Lance pause for a second, he barely even broke a sweat, a small huff of breath his only sign of fatigue.

 

“You’re right Blue, it’ll be because of Voltron.”

 

Lance looks at the Altean clock in the training room (thank God it was the same as the Galra or Lance wouldn’t be able to get anything done right) and started when he saw it was the equivalent of four in the morning. He just internally shrugged and walked over to the small weapons display to put away his bow, he was scanning through it when he decided to open his mouth.

 

“Good morning Mullet-man.”

 

Lance didn’t look behind him, but he could practically _feel_  Keith gaping at him, it amused him but also slightly confused Lance, and he gave up looking for anything resembling an Earthian rifle to twist around and look at Keith, when their eyes locked, Keith’s eyes widened.

 

“Y-You’re…you’re Altean…?”

 

Lance just blinked slowly and slowly turned to face Keith completely, he gingerly lifted his hand to feel the rough and slightly raised skin of an Altean mark.

 

His were azure, and they glittered slightly in the training room light.

 

Wait…if you could see his Altean marks–

 

–does that mean his eyes are gold as well???

 

Lance yelped and covered his eyes, oh god, his skin must be tinged purple too, his ears should be longer and pointy (the princess is gonna _love_ that) and…and, oh and his hair….!

 

His hair must have turned white.

 

Fuck.

 

_Godammit!_

 

It was literally his first fucking _week_  and he still messed up.

 

“Keith, I–!”

 

Lance squeaks when he feels Keith’s hands on his wrists, he doesn’t even bother to fight back and he just stares at a spot in the ground, glaring at it, Lance knew his hair must be fluffed up in frustration be cause Keith’s eyes wander over his face, staying on his hair the longest.

 

Lance yelps again (he will deny it with every cell of his being if anyone asks) when he feels something stroking his head softly, and he blushed as he accidentally purred and pushed his head against Keith’s hand.

 

Lance closes his eyes as he felt him start to scratch behind his ear and then Lance let go of any inhibitions holding him back as he melts into Keith’s touch, leaning most of his bodyweight on his as he feels himself purr _even louder,_  and it echoes around the training room and he can _feel_ Keith chuckling.

 

And that seems to bring Lance back and he opens his eyes suddenly and jumps away, his blush was red hot.

 

Okay, so, there’s his sex drive, inability to _stfu_ , and now, blushing.

 

Really, they were too generous.

 

That was sarcasm by the way.

 

“Stop that!” Lance suddenly pulls in his inhuman features, pushing his slightly pointed ears into their normal _obviously not hideous state_ (it was his Altean shape shift abilities letting him do that) and then with the rest of his features, he had to close his eyes as he concentrated harder, he _refused_  to tell Keith that his staring was making him uncomfortable.

 

And it was hard to forget those eyes.

 

Once he was done, Lance let out a breath.

 

“Well, I wanted to talk to you anyway, so you won’t be able to train yet, come on.”

 

Lance walks away, he knows Keith would follow and he smirks as he hears footsteps behind him.

 

As soon as they exit the training room, lance flips around and jumps on Keith’s back and landed on his shoulders, Keith was gripping onto his heels like a lifeline trying not to drop him.

 

Lance just decided to lightly drum Keith’s hair to a song he could faintly remember listening to back on Earth, it hurt to remember but he did it anyway.

 

“Where do you wanna talk? I’m assuming that you don’t want to talk where anyone can walk in or eavesdrop, so–!?”

 

Suddenly Keith was walking forward, he could literally feel the heat of Keith’s blush on his thighs.

 

Lance just hums noncomitally as he slumps a bit, and starts to stroke Keith’s mullet.

 

Keith just made a slightly strangled sound and somehow his face got even _hotter_ and Lance can’t help but snort.

 

As soon as he did, he felt fingers underneath his knees, ticking him.

 

Lance suddenly squeals and thrashes his legs to make Keith think he was going to fall (he wasn’t) and he kept moving until he felt Keith’s hand wrap around his ankles to keep them from moving (Lance could easily break out of his hold but he got what he wanted so he’s okay with it.)

 

“Don’t do that, asshole.”

 

“How could you expect me to let that chance go to waste? I am the _impulsive_  one remember?”

 

Lance just snorts again but lightly smacks Keith’s hair as an admonishment for trying anything again.

 

**~**

 

Once they got situated in Keith’s room (Lance was internally frazzled at that mere thought, his traitorous mind was coming up with some _very_  imaginative and kinky scenarios.)

 

Lance added onto his mental list:

 

1\. Inability to shut up

2\. Tendency to blush a lot

3\. Sex drive can go on for days

4\. Getting crushes easily, partnered with getting heartbroken easily

 

Lance put his hand on his chin as he looked up in thought.

 

“Maybe I should write it down somewhere…”

 

He didn’t even notice when he spoke out loud when he caught Keith looking at him with confused eyes above him.

 

Okay so maybe when they got here Lance tried to tickle Keith back, but that was a bad idea since he was carrying Lance and Keith lost his balance and he ended up with lap full of Lance, mop of brown hair on his stomach with toned arms resting on his thighs.

 

Needless to say Keith was freaking out just as much as Lance was.

 

Lance just shook his head and sat up properly, Keith ignored the twinge of disappointment and watched as Lance stretched his back accompanied with a bunch of cracks.

 

“So, we should talk, obviously.”

 

Keith just shrugs and leans back on his hands, giving the illusion of someone completely at ease.

 

Lance wasn’t fooled though, he just sighs and crosses his legs, looking at an undefined part on the floor as he contemplates what to say and how to say it.

 

“I probably should have mentioned it before, I mean, I was _going_  to, and then that alarm happened and that stupid robot attacked me and then I got trapped in an _airlock_ , which, you know shouldn’t be as scary as– _most things_ that I’ve been through and I thought I’d die a lot more times, but they never actually killed me before, sure my heart stopped a few times, but–!”

 

“Your heart did _what_?”

 

Lance looked at Keith, who was half crouched as if about to stab someone.

 

“ _Que_?”

 

**Translation: “What?”**

 

“You–You said that your heart _stopped_?!”

 

“Yes, why is this not getting through your thick skull, that’s not even what I wanted to talk about. Bygones, Keith.”

 

The mullet-head just looked slightly dumbfounded expression.

 

“You–!”

 

“Nuh uh! Nope! We’re not talking about that, so hush and listen okay?”

 

Lance waited until Keith reluctantly nodded and fell back to his previously adopted relaxed posed.

 

Lance took another breath, closing his eyes and focusing on what he wanted to say to Keith and how to word it so he doesn’t get interrupted every fucking two seconds.

 

“So, I’m Galra.”

 

Lance forced himself to not do a face palm at him own occasional lack of tact. He’s not on a very good streak.

 

An image of Keith’s blank face staring up at him after he told Keith his race flit through Lance’s head and he cringed at himself.

 

Seriously, he is losing his edge on this goddamn ship, you’d think that he’d be even _cooler_  now! But nope! Lance was, and always will be a horny teenage boy.

 

“Lance you have to stop starting conversations like this–”

 

Keith’s amused tone was _not_  lost on him.

 

Lance just cleared his throat and went on as if he wasn’t interrupted and just looked at his callused fingers, stretching and flexing them occasionally as he felt old phantom pains and started to speak (for the third frickin’ time).

 

“I’m not fully Galra, I’m half, like you, but my other half is Altean,” Lance shuffled so he was facing Keith properly, and moved himself forward a little unconsciously, as if he was divulging a terrible rumour.

 

“I’m not from Earth, my only ties there are Hunk and Pidge, I’m pretty sure Pidge was onto me being a bit different at the Garrison, Hunk just stayed out my business and the like, Hunk and me…we’re pretty good friends, and before you say anything,” Lance lifted a hand when Keith started to open his mouth, “I’m not mad at Hunk, at all, I’m just slightly peeved that I didn’t have the discipline to cut off that part of my life, I’m just not really fond of someone rooting through my head…it’s just experience that makes me weary is all,”

 

Lance looked to Keith’s cheek, unable to meet his gaze as he knew Keith’s eyes were staring at him, full of curiosity and a bit of…something else, that Lance couldn’t quite name.

 

“I did live on Earth for a bit though, with my mom, I was really young so it’s so hazy, but I’ll never forget the day she took me to the beach, the pizza shack was nice, on a cliff too so you could see the sun shine on the water and then mom learned how to make garlic knots–we called them Galra-knots because my mom was a huge perv–and that’s really all I remember about Earth…but I do remember when…when Sendak found us on one of the refugee camp-moons.”

 

Lance took a deep breath and looked up to gauge Keith’s expression, his face was a mixture of wonder, curiosity and a little bit of wistfulness, no pity.

 

Thank fuck.

 

Lance _despised_ pity.

 

He saw it in all of the faces of Zarkon’s–just _thinking_  his name gave him the heebyjeebies–commanders and subcommanders, the purple and red always swirling into the cheeks of flushed and _happy_ faces of his family etched into his mind as he saw the blank ceiling, the dim lights were hard to see through, but Lance could make do with it, he could remember when he first heard a _laugh_  near his cell, one of the scientists must have told a joke, probably Trea, she was super funny.

 

Lance learnt about the people who made his life hell, what else was he supposed to do then.

 

He was shivering when he thought about all of the _hands_  that roamed over him, intruding him in everyway, he remembers how he got so _angry_  and he had felt so _destructive_.

 

Lance could still taste the iron on his tongue when they first put him in the arena, it was weird that they never put him in there a lot, they never wanted Lance to go against the Champion because they didn’t want to lose their biggest assets in the war.

 

That didn’t stop them from breaking them from reality, the only reason Lance was ever brought back from the brink was when he met Hunk, that guy was the reason that Keith wasn’t lying in a ditch somewhere and the Blue Lion wasn’t in Zarkon’s hands.

 

“–ey! Lance! _Lance!_ ”

 

Suddenly Lance blinked, he saw Keith’s terrified face, Lance felt his cheeks being squished from his surprisingly small baby hands–Lance is going to terrorise Keith about that someday–and he’s suddenly aware that their not the only one’s in the room.

 

Lance blanches, or as much as he _can_  while his face is squished, at Shiro, who was sitting a little way away with a worried expression that mirrored Keith’s.

 

“Are you…back?”

 

Lance just looks at Shiro, remembering him from when he saw him at the arena and when he saw him being dragged in from Kerberos, and to now, a broken soldier who was doing his best to keep face for the sake of his team, and the universe.

 

Lance realises he’s just been staring at Shiro and clears his throat, lifting his hands to pull Keith’s down, but he doesn’t let go and no one comments on it.

 

“Yeah, sorry, just…thinking.”

 

He can hear Shiro breathe a sigh of relief and Lance looks up from Keith’s baby hands, “But why are you here Shiro? I’m not annoyed or anything, but I–!”

 

Shiro puts up his arm to stop Lance, “It’s okay, I just heard Keith shout your name and came as fast as I could, you were…out for a bit.”

 

“Eh, I’m tired, so I’m just gonna flop.”

 

As soon as Lance finished his sentence, he falls on top of Keith who just grunts at his weight.

 

“How are you so heavy?” He situates Lance sitting in his lap comfortably with red cheeks, “You’re like a twig, you should be lighter than Pidge.”

 

“She’d bite you for that.”

 

Shiro just snorted at that and he leaned forward, like he wanted to be a part of the cuddle pile but didn’t know how to invite himself without imposing.

 

“Shiro I swear to God, stop looking like a kicked puppy and _get over here_.”

 

**~**

 

When they all left Keith’s room a few hours of napping later–they were all slightly red, Shiro and Keith more so–and they all stopped walking at the sight of Pidge walking by, she looked surprised when she saw them, but Lance could see the gears working in her hear lightning speed as she looked at all of them, instead of saying anything, she just lifted both her palms up in the ‘I surrender’ pose and simply says: “No judging, you do you.” And just keeps walking.

 

They all stand there silently, staring at the spot Pidge turned around at the corner, it was a few ticks before Lance decided to break it, he put his hands in his pocket and breathed out a huff.

 

“Well…that was a conversation I’m not looking forward to.”

 

“Ditto.”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

**~**

 

“Pidgey, my little genius, my sweet pelican, my graceless donkey–”

 

“Lance what the fuck?”

  
“My irritating little heron, bane of my miniscule existence–”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“We need to talk.”

 

Lance was leaning his arms on Pidge’s head, she didn’t complain so he just stayed there as he saw her fingers fly over her keyboard, keeping up with her code as she spoke to Lance.

 

“Wait go back, you missed a bracket.”

 

“What? Oh, thanks.”

 

As she corrected it and moved on, Lance spoke again.

 

“So, a few hours ago, I am aware you saw something that seemed a little, eh, a bit, well... _suggestive_.”

 

Pidge just heaved a sigh and saved her code and closed her laptop, slightly slumping under Lance, he took the hint and got off of her, deciding to sit with her on the floor instead, leaning back onto his palms.

 

“Look Lance, I swear I’m not judging you, okay? I’ve met a few people in polyamorous relationships before and I honestly support you three–”

 

“You see Pidgey, that’s where you’re wrong, must be a rare occurrence for you, but Keith and Shiro aren’t in any sort of romantic relationship with me, I’m pretty sure they’re crushing on each other, you’ve seen how Keith sticks to Shiro like duct tape and vise versa right?”

 

“Wait…why were you all in the same room then? Also it’s ‘sticks to Shiro like _glue_.”

 

“I– what? Really? But glue is weak compared to duct tape, are you sure?”

 

Pidge just shrugged, “That’s the saying, I don’t think it fits in literally, just as an expression.”

 

“Huh.”

 

They sat there in silence for a few seconds, Pidge waiting for Lance to continue and Lance thinking of how to talk about it, God knows he’s shit with emotions.

 

Lance just sighed and pushed himself up, giving a hand down for Pidge, quickly hiking her up onto his back before she could let go, there was a little squeal as Lance zoomed out of the common room and into the kitchen.

 

“I should tell all of you together, it’ll be tedious to tell each of you one by one.”

 

As Lance zooms by rooms, he shouts: “Family meeting! Everyone to the dining room now!”

 

Pidge just shouted louder as Lance ran ever _faster_.

 

“Holy shit you can _run_.”

 

“I’ve been doing it for a while now.” Lance says quietly as Pidge just throws up her hands and shouts again, paying Lance no mind as he gets to the dining room, as he thought, Hunk was already there and cooking something that looked uncannily like pity food.

 

“Hunk! Babe! Why are you sad?”

 

Lance just lets Pidge jump off as he approaches Hunk, trying to run her fingers through her windblown hair.

 

Anything coming from Hunk’s mouth is stopped by Allura, Coran, Shiro and Keith walking in, and Lance quickly opens his mouth before he can process it.

 

“So I’m not human.”

 

…

 

“You have to actually stop starting conversations like that.”

 

“Shut up Keith! I am aware!”


	5. Filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura wants some answers, and Lance wants some dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...sorry for the long wait?
> 
> This is more of a filler chapter really, school has just started so I’m going to be laying back with my updates, but I am definelty not abondoning this story, promise.

As soon as everyone was situated comfortably–Coran was standing behind where the princess was sitting on the couch, Shiro was also standing to Lance’s right, he had his arms arms crossed with an open and curious expression, as if he was urging him to go on, it was really comforting to say the least.

 

Keith was also standing–next to Shiro, obviously–and Lance felt a slight pang at seeing them together, but he saw that look on Keith’s face, Lance knew it was just his brain conjuring things up to hurt him—he looked slightly smitten—like it always has, Pidge was sitting next to Hunk on the floor, looking super casual–they wouldn’t after he’s done talking, she’s gonna flip that she’s known an alien for a few years and didn’t even know it!

 

Wait, _were_  they friends? Pidge was pretty aloof back at the Garrison and here she’s acting a bit like a graceless duckling, maybe she struggles with conversation and social interaction like Keith?

 

Speaking of Keith, what was up when he imagined all of those kink stories?

 

And will he be able to do them as soon as possible? 

 

It seems ludicrous, Lance knows, the Galra have knocked more than a few screws loose inside his brain, Lance wouldn’t be surprised if he started to ramble about how he wanted to be ploughed into a bed, preferably with someone on his back, or how he wanted to be completely _dominated_.

 

Two silhouettes, one holding his wrists above his head and one using his hand to–

 

_DON'T. GET. HARD._

 

“I think I might be into bondage…”

 

Lance didn’t even realise he spoke out loud (yes he did) until he heard a slight choking sound, he looked up at Keith’s face that was completely red and he looked a bit sick and tired of life in that moment.

 

“You okay buddy?”

 

A quick cursory glance showed Lance that Pidge and Hunk were also a bit red and leaned away, recoiling slightly, Allura looked confused but there was no way in _Hell_ anyone was going to explain it to her (Lance was thinking about it but ultimately dismissed it, Coran would kill him), and Coran was…the same? His face looked like it was figuring something out, like he was in thought or something.

 

Finally, Lance looked at their leader and was surprised to see that he looked constipated, he was still hot though so it was okay.

 

“Well that was…interesting news, if you’re gonna keep going I’m just going to leave–!”

 

“Wait that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about!”

 

The sudden abruptness in Lance’s voice made Pidge and Hunk sit down, looking at him with something more mild curiosity than disgust.

 

(Lance refused to admit how that had made his heart hurt, that was what they were going to do eventually when he was done, he has been lying to them for years so it was only the normal reaction to send him on his way, having him pilot the blue Lion was a glitch in the system anyway). 

 

“Well, as you all know,” Lance clasps his hands together, a twinge of stage fright bit his stomach but he ignored it in favour of looking up at everyone, “I’m… _familiar_ with deep space travel and how the status is with Zarkon and stuff…”

 

Lance had no idea how to keep this going, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, speeches definitely weren’t his thing, that was all Shiro’s.

 

Just thinking about his name made Lance quickly flit his eyes to their leader and the second in command, giving him encouraging looks, it squeezed at Lance’s insides when he thought of how Shiro was going to hate him when he was done. Wait, no he wouldn’t, because he doesn’t even know Lance was part Galran.

 

Somehow Lance doubted he’s be able to say that to the team. But he had to try.

 

(Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, Lance wonders to himself when this team’s thoughts of him affected him so much. He didn’t care what other people thought before. He’s killed people he’d known for longer than these people.)

 

And what about Keith?

 

Lance could handle the racism–he has for a long time, a very, _very_ long time–and he’s okay with being alone, no matter the fact that Leith lived as a conspiracy theorist hermit for a while, that doesn’t mean he can handle being alone as well as Lane could.

 

Does that mean Lance shouldn’t say anything? And keep it between him and Keith? The idea _was_  appealing, but…no.

 

Lance shook his head, and took a deep breath, if he did tell them, he’d either be put in prison, for information, very protective because of his Altean genes, or just kick him straight into the airlock, that idea made Lance shiver, no way he was going to go through that without a fight.

 

(He didn’t want to fight them but he ignored that)

 

“Um…you going to say anything dude?”

 

Hunk’s voice brought Lance’s thoughts back to the present and not what terrifying futures lay ahead.

 

“I’m part Altean and part Galran!”

 

 _Fucking hell_.

 

Lance heard the distint sound of Keith’s palm hitting his face.

 

“Okay wow I really suck at this ‘breaking the news slowly’ kind of thing.”

 

“You really are.”

 

“Keith I swear!”

 

When Lance moved his eyes away from Keith, he looked at Allura and Coran directly, he noticed the slightly dazed expressions in their eyes as they processed what Lance oh-so-elegantly _blurted_  out at them.

 

“...what?”

 

Lance, and the others, collectively winced as Coran spoke up first.

 

“I… am pretty sure Allura is my cousin? Not a hundred percent sure so I’ll get back to you on that.”

 

The silence in the room was palpable and Lance refused to look at anyone that moment, he could feel his body strung high with tension.

 

“How is this possible?”

 

Lance looks up from the spot on the ground he’d been trying to carve a hole into (and jump in, he was still contemplating) it. He didn’t really know what to expect from them, maybe a: _“Wow that’s so cool Lance!”_ Or maybe: _“So that must mean you’re super strong huh?_ ”

 

(Or, he _wanted_  to expect that)

 

But what he was dreading was the fear of rejection, it was a completely unnecessary and impractical feeling, Allura and Coran would be _happy_  that they weren’t the only Alteans alive right?

 

But he was also _Galran_.

 

The reason (to them at least, they don’t know the whole story so they’re biased but still) that all Alteans are dead.

 

And what if they said that they were disappointed in him lying to them, granted this is a brand new team, and emotions are running a bit high since they were all new to this whole ‘saving the universe’ shtick.

 

That still doesn’t mean that he won’t be kicked off in two seconds, he hasn’t bonded with Blue, hasn’t had time to, so it wouldn’t be too hard to find another paladin for her right?

 

But they shouldn’t _need_  another paladin, Lance argues with himself, he is _right here_  and finding a new Blue Paladin would simply be a nuisance, in the long run, they could probably tolerate him, he’ll just have to...hold back, keep everything strictly professional.

 

That meant no hopeless (or maybe not, what with the looks that they’re giving him) pining for two of the other paladins.

 

Lance was no stranger to polyamory, like Pidge said before, he’s also met a few people like that.

 

(Granted they were aliens and he was sent to kill them but he got the principles)

 

So, Lance has come to the conclusion, he’ll stay as the Blue paladin (unless they want to kick him off the ship, that’s cool, he could probably become a mercenary with the Blade of Marmora or something) and he’ll stop making googoo eyes at Shiro and Keith.

 

(But he’s still keeping them for his spank bank.)

 

(That is non-negotiable.)

 

“I—I have so many questions.”

 

Allura’s voice coaxed Lance away from his...interesting train of thoughts.

 

“Well, my ears aren’t hideous.”

 

Paired with that statemtent, Lance lets go of his ears, letting them reform into his natural shape, sharper and pointier than Coran’s and Allura’s.

 

Her gasp, with the other’s as well (even Keith, God that kid is shit at acting, he should get Keith and Allura and give them some lessons on how to be believable, they need it. Desperately.) and he had the sudden bite of insecurity nip at him again.

 

What he didn’t expect, was Allura standing up and leaving the room.

 

(He should have, that would have made it hurt less)

 

The team, Coran, and Lance—because he apparently wasn’t part of the team anymore—stared at the doorway she went through.

 

Lance cleared his throat and changed his ears back to their ‘human’ standard, and crossed his arms, straightening his back as he internally steels himself to make eyes contact with the people (+ Coran, since, you know, he’s an alien) and appraises them with a genuine looking smile.

 

(Hint hint, it was not)

 

(But they didn’t know that)

 

“Well, I’m going to go, hey Coran can I borrow a podship?”

 

“W-What for?”

 

Lance looks just at Coran this time.

 

“I’m not an idiot,” he points a thumb at where Allura disappeared off to, “that’s not acceptance, I’ll probably just go work with the Marmorites anyway.”

 

Coran’s eyes widened, and so had the others’, Hunk quickly stands up and walks over to Lance, holding his hands out but not touching.

 

“Dude! What are you talking about! You can’t just leave! I’m sorry about before okay, just please don’t go—! And who are the ‘Marmorites’?! And—!”

 

“Hunk.”

 

Lance put his left hand on Hunk’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes.

 

“I don’t blame you at all, you’re just curious and didn’t mean anything by it, I _know_ , it’s okay.”

 

He smiles again, a bit of his bloodlust bled into it.

 

“It’s not like you’ll never see me again.”

 

**~**

 

**_“Baby we built this house, on memories~_ **

****

**_Take my picture now, shake it till you see it~_ **

****

**_And if when your fantasies become your legacy, promise me a place, in your house of memories~”_ **

 

Lance was twirling around in the hangar with the podships while Coran went after Allura, none of the others were letting him leave and they kept their eyes on him.

 

(He could easily leave but he really doesn’t want to do that)

 

(And okay fine, maybe he doesn’t want to actually leave the team and he’s trying to milk his time for all it’s worth)

 

(And maybe he feels like milking some other things as well, but Keith and Shiro probably wouldn’t like that with company)

 

Wow, Lance really can’t get them out of his mind, this ‘No Pining to members of team’ rule really isn’t working out for him.

 

Lance thinks of something to quickly distracting himself:

 

“Hm,” Lance stops and puts a finger to his chin thoughtfully, fully aware of everyone in the room, “I wonder how many dicks I can take.”

 

Loud hacking sounds stopped his pondering and he internally grins when he sees Keith and Shiro looking like beetroots and Hunk covering an oblivious Pidge’s ears.

 

“Is this really the time!”

 

Lance slides his eyes over to Keith, who was just beginning to get his bearings back, Shiro was still slightly glassy-eyed and his face was steadily getting redder.

 

“When isn’t it the time?” He shrugs as Keith looks at him with his mouth wide open, his brows were furrowed in a mix between confusion and frustration, his eyes were wide and he made a ‘WTF’ gesture with his arms.

 

“I think my record is three in my ass and two in my mouth.”

 

Hunk had taken to hauling Pidge away, who had sadly heard Lance that time and was feeling extremely uncomfortable and wanted to get the _fuck_  out because she wasn’t ready for this.

 

Once the door had whooshed closed, Shiro got his bearings back (barely).

 

“Aren’t you 17?”

 

Shiro’s voice was kind of squeaky when he spoke up, looking at Lance in exasperation, he looked like he’d been sucker punched fifty times and then stepped on with some neon green stilettoes.

 

(Lance had a pair back on Earth, he missed them dearly.)

 

“I _look_  17.”

 

Keith and Shiro (fucking hell, Lance was alone with them in a room, like he’d explicitly told himself not to) looked at him in astonishment.

 

“How...how old are you then?”

 

“It’s a secret.”

 

Lance was _not_  going to tell them he was probably older than their ages added together, multiplied by 120.

 

He refused.

 

**~**

 

“Princess, what do you make of Lance’s...news?”

 

Allura was sitting in King Alfor’s room, she was going to go to her father’s chambers, the one with his conscious and talk to him for guidance.

 

She sorely needed it.

 

“He—! He’s _Galra_ , Coran, _Galra_.”

 

Allura drops her head into her palms, feeling heat pool behind her eyes, she could only look and feel this vulnerable with Coran, her amazing uncle even though there were no blood bonds between them.

 

They were irrelevant with true family.

 

A warm hand gently tok her hands and lifter her face up to meet his, and she searched through those indigo iris’ so riddled with age and pain, she knew it hurt Coran to look at her, she was told many times that she was the spitting image of her mother.

 

She knew that Coran had loved her romantically, and he was forced to sit idle and watch as his happiness was slowly shredded to nought.

 

Coran sighed as he recognised her train of thought, fully aware on Allura’s thoughts on the matter, he knew the girl was starting to rip at the seams, thread by thinning thread, she was slowly unravelling.

 

What kind of royal advisor would he be if he let his charge slowly run themselves into the ground?

 

A terrible one, that’s what.

 

And Coran was anything _but_ terrible.

 

(Except fashion sense apparently, he had been told by too many people this fact and was still slightly offended)

 

“Princess, it pains me to say this but, the past is the past, your father would tell you that defeating Zarkon is what you should be focusing on, but not at the expense of your happiness and wellbeing.”

 

“I hate it and love it when your right Coran.”

 

**~**

 

After they’re little chat, Allura uncharacteristically ambled around with no destination in mind, simply walking to clear her mind, no other purpose, Shiro had told her about it earlier, but the idea of making unnecessary movement was puzzling to her.

 

But now she understands his sentiment, doing something mindless gave her a small reprieve from reality.

 

She desperately needed it.

 

On one hand, she had a _Galran_  on her ship, the simple idea of it was preposterous, the Galra were the _enemy_ , their existence was a black mark upon Altea’s stunning and shining rule, the _Galra_ were the reason Altea was destroyed, the _Galra_  were the reason Alfor was dead.

 

The reason a little girl had to grow older.

 

She was still a child.

 

She was only 21 phoebes for quiznaks sake!

 

(Pidge had told her earlier that phoebes were approximately equivalent of an Earth year.)

 

(That girl was going places)

 

Her debate was internal and didn’t show at all in her expression, to any onlooker watching, they’d say she was just going around for a light hearted stroll.

 

No light hearted people here.

 

But, once again, she was thrust in the position of making groundbreaking decisions again, the pressure she felt more than saw from the others were terrifying, she knew what their collective thoughts on the matter, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least _entertained_ by Lance.

 

But he was _Galra_.

 

He was a monster.

 

...right?

 

And just like that, Princess Allura was back where she started, and she hoped her father would break this torturous thought circle she’s barricaded herself into.

 

**~**

 

“Father...what do I do?”

 

Allura was standing in the chamber of her father’s memory hologram, it didn’t hold a candle towards the immense hole in her heart of his absence.

 

“ _Do you trust him?_ ”

 

“What?”

 

She looked up at him, the walls were the same, this was no casual attempt to run down the loneliness.

 

(Coran can only do so much)

 

(He wasn’t her father, no one could be her father, he was not King for no reason)

 

(Of course the royal bloodline was also a factor but semantics)

 

(Lance taught her that word, semantics, it was funny on her tongue the first time she said it)

 

“ _Ah_.”

 

Allura looks up at her father in confusion, he had That Face™, the face that showed you he knew something you didn’t, like he was privy to a secret about you that you yourself didn’t know.

 

She did not like that face one bit.

 

“ _What did you say his name was again?”_

 

“Lance. I am unsure of his second name.”

 

“ _Second name? Like Coran?_ ”

 

“That is what humans have, it helps identify who is who, since some people may have had the same first name.”

 

“ _Sounds efficient._ ”

 

“It really isn’t—but that’s not what we were speaking about, what are your thoughts on this matter?”

 

“ _I do not know the name, but I do know that my sister had a child, I know not if they were born or killed in battle.”_

 

“What?!”

 

Allura gaped at her father, this...this was big, so very very _very_  very _big_. A whole _branch_  of family members that she was unaware of? And this talk of a child—wait.

 

“Why...why didn’t you tell me you had a sister?”

 

Her father let go of a deep sigh, like he was disappointed in himself for having this conversation at all, even in death.

 

“ _She had…departed…before you were born, it was a very messy relationship between her and the rest of the family...she fell in love with a Galra, it was his son_.”

 

Allura’s eyes widened, she couldn’t comprehend what she was hearing, she had an auntie, who had a _Altean-Galra_ hybrid child?

 

“...what?”

 

Her voice was light as a feather, but Alfor heard it.

 

“ _I think you should sit down dear daughter, it is a long story_.”

 

**_TBC~~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> House Of Memories- Panic!At The Disco


	6. Build Up, Wait for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a little sneak peak on some of Lance's experiences with Haggar and some more very, _very_ open Lance, because if there is anything Lance has learned over the many, many years...
> 
> It is that he is a _hot commodity_.
> 
> But yeah Lance doesn't get too raunchy.
> 
> ...yet

Lance was simply sitting on his butt on the cold pod-bay floor, the cold was seeping into him.

  
  
He really liked the cold.

  
  
He liked it a lot better than feeling warm blood coursing through his veins, a constant reminder that he’s alive.

  
  
(He doesn’t want to be.)

  
  
He doesn’t want to be in this weird realm, like he was floating off somewhere but his body was...it was stuck. He couldn’t leave, he couldn’t stay, Lance couldn’t just... _be_.

  
  
Haggar will pay, its that bitch’s fault he was still alive, after...after _so many years_.

 

**~**

  
  
  
_Lance was sitting with his favourite shackles, they’ve been with him through thick and thin, heavy and dull throughout every single second of torture that stupid witch decided to put him through today._

_They were very nice shackles, rusty looking bloodstains, dents from where he’d hit them on bars (and once a guard’s face, that was so worth his thumbnail, he saw Zarkon’s witch, ugly as ever sneer at him from where she was standing on the other side of the bars, her eyes were flashing and her teeth were blinding._

_You know for a henchwoman(?) she keeps really good dental hygiene._

_For a second, her face faltered and she stared at Lance with a slight dumbfounded expression, he just stared back silently._

_“…Did I just say that out loud?”_

_“I am nobody’s_ henchwoman _!”_

_Once again, Haggar’s eyes pierced him again, reminding him of all the body piercing’s he used to have._

_Haggar stared at Lance’s broken form on the floor, his broken shoulder, his incarcerated knees, elbows scraped to bloody pulps, he was a mess._

_“You, you are the empire’s greatest weapon, your ability, your /power/, we /made/ you, we made you powerful! And you still refuse your services to us? How dare you!?”_

_Haggar’s face was stretched into a sneer that would keep the hardiest man awake at night, her fangs pushing the edge of her lip, making her seem almost wolfish, as if she could swallow him whole._

_She probably could now that he thought about it._

_“That is why, due to your disobedience and insolence, I will give you a very difficult choice.”_

_Lance looked up at her from the only non-bloody spot on the purple (do they need a home decorator or something?) ground he’d been staring at. He just looked at her with a grim face, not letting any small speckle of his sordid hopes up._

_“You will obey the Empire, and be our puppet and do whatever we tell you,” she paused._

_Lance bit his tongue, he didn’t want to accidentally blurt anything_ too _incriminating out right now._

_Haggar smirked at how ‘docile’ he was now._

_**Yeah right bitch, you’re lucky these chains are on me otherwise I’d wipe the floor with you and your gross robes**._

_“As I was saying,” she drawled even slower, relishing every moment she had Lance's attention, “be the Empire’s puppet,_ or _, be forced to wander your days in this prison for eternity. I will give you time to think about your response.”_

_When she turned away, she muttered something to the guards standing at his post, they were the fifteenth pair since Lance had killed all the others, he was on his final warning though, if he raises any sort of hand to them, he will suffer the most unimaginably painful death an Empire of this unbearable size could admonish:_

_…they threatened to cut his dick off._

_He needed that!_

_As Haggar walked away, the electrical charges that were a sort of pseudo-fence buzzed to life._

 

_(Guess what they were also purple, seriously if this wasn’t a call for help Lance didn’t know what was.)_

_“What do you mean by ‘eternity’?”_

 

_At that she stopped and turned her nightmare worthy grin on him again._

 

 _“I can make you live in this disgusting world,_ forever. _”_

 

_After that the guards had raped him._

 

**_~_ **

 

Lance’s tightening fist was the only show of emotion, his entire demeanour screamed: ‘Goofing off’.

 

“Lance,” he looked up, standing there in all her traumatized glory was the princess herself, with her pretty white dress and long, flowing hair.

 

Her face on the other hand seemed a little less than petrified.

 

“Hup!” Lance jumped up and stiffed his hands in his pockets, looking at the princess with a charming but sleazy smile, giving off the body language of a doofus to make her feel more comfortable, something Lance has learned about the princess is that she needs to at the very least _seem_  in control of the situation, she was only a little girl in Lance’s eyes.

 

(Honestly he was slightly glad the princess could come to him at all, he didn’t want to her talk to her again, she reminded him of him centuries ago, so young and naïve, not ready for what was to come.)

 

There was a tense silence on the princess’ account, it was like she couldn’t believe she was doing this, like she couldn’t believe she was forced to do another difficult task, making her do more than she was ever meant to.

 

“…How old are you?”

 

…well.

 

That was not what Lance was expecting but okay.

 

“It’s okay princess, being 10,000 years old than someone doesn’t make you a cougar.”

 

“I-what?”

 

“You know, a cougar, a woman that goes after younger men.”

 

“…I’m being serious Lance; I need you to tell me the truth.”

 

Lance just sighed and spun around slowly on his heel, keeping a very unnatural balance all the while, unnerving in it’s appearance.

 

Suddenly Lance stops spinning, a new scent washing into the room, it was slightly minty, like the smell of a bathroom after you clean your teeth with a hint of lemon, he gave a little smile as he closed his eyes, falling back gracefully on his back on the cold pod bay floor, no sound when he made contact wit the ground.

 

“Why would you ask that?”

 

The princess look at the doorway of the room and her eyes widened, how had she not noticed the door opening in the silence?

 

Standing there was Pidge, arms crossed and questioning eyebrow up high.

 

The princess just shook herself off and put her hands behind her back, puffing up her chest and holding her regal pose to show who was the boss right there.

 

(Hint hint, not her because she felt anything but regal)

 

“I was simply questioning him on his experiences in space, how much of the galaxy he has been a part of and such.”

 

“Welp, sucks for you but that is classified! I’m leaving anyway, good luck I stopping me, peace.”

 

Lance clarified that statement with a dignifying pose, holding the peace sign in Pidge’s face as he walked by her quickly.

 

Leaving is the better choice.

 

Otherwise…they would want to know everything, it’ll be easier this way.

 

(Lance wasn’t sure if he believed himself or not but that wasn’t anything new)

 

As Lance started humming ‘Milkshake’ by Kelis, he ignored the slight sputtering and rapid footsteps behind him, expecting the multitude of questions the women of Voltron would have for him.  
  


“What do you mean you’re leaving?”

 

“Classified?”

 

“What are you hiding?”

  
  
“Can we trust you?”

 

Lance stopped where he was, letting out a gusty sigh, recognising the slightly British tilt and melodic voice.

 

“That’s for you to decide Princess.”

 

Lance walked away, moving his feet even faster, guaranteeing that they wouldn’t be able to keep up, he was done with this situation, he didn’t want to stay with a team like this, a team with so much power over him, people who couldn’t hold a candle to the sort of strength Lance has, be it mentally (Sorry Pidge) and physically (Sorry Shiro), he is better than them in those aspects, he is one of the fiercest warriors throughout the Galaxies.

 

So why did it hurt a little?

 

Lance was no stranger to pain, its been there, leering and peeking through every corner, a constant, something that Lance could always turn to when everything is changing or moving too fast.

 

**Why don’t you come back?**

 

Lance froze, he was about a foot away from his room door so when had recovered form his momentary paralysis he quickly walked in, making sure that it was locked to everyone else, he couldn’t do anything if Coran or Allura decided if they wanted to walk it though, the doors would recognise their marks and deem them safe to go in.

 

God this place was so outdated it hurt. Like dealing with the first computer or something, it was gross.

 

**Come back to the Empire.**

 

He was wondering where the voice went, it hasn’t been tormenting him as much lately, maybe…

 

**They don’t deserve you. You are too good for them, one of the strongest weapons of the Empire.**

 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong Fuck-face,” Lance put his hands behind his back, previous terror forgotten as he strolled around the room with his chin held high, as if he was talking to a useless waste of space.

 

_Ha, like me?_

 

**You are more than anything they could ever _hope_  to be, you’re talents are rusting in a place like this.**

 

Lance had given the voice at the back of his head a face a while ago, it was a bit like ‘The Scream’, pale face screeching in frozen mock terror, but more stout, like it was a dwarf. So it was a little ugly thing that didn’t even reach Lance’s knee.

 

(Lowkey adorable, but irritating as hell)

 

(Also he named it Fuck-face because its mouth looked like a gloryhole)

 

“Well, Fuck-face, I don’t care what you think, you’re right though, I could be doing a lot more than this, maybe I should get back with the Marmorites? But they haven’t had any progress for a while…go solo?”

 

**Come back. Or you know they will kill them**

 

Lance forced himself to not beat up an imaginary dwarf with the face of Scream, that wouldn’t be a good look.

 

(But since has Lance been concerned about his looks?)

 

(Not much surprisingly, the skin routines are more for making him feel better than to actually look good, that’s just a bonus)

 

Lance accepted the fact that his secondary personality that the Galra gave him by fucking around with his brain was going to follow him around the ship.

 

**~**

 

“Yo! Coran! My handyman! Mi amor!”

 

Lance walked into the control room, no one but the beloved ginger was standing there, everyone was probably busy anyway.

 

/Lucky, don’t need to fight them all at once, even though I’d win, I still need Voltron and it would take too long to find new paladins./

 

When Coran looked back at him from doing who-knows-what from the controls, he gave a hearty smile that warmed the black hole Lance had inside his chest.

 

(Oh, did he not mention that he didn’t have a heart? Must have forgotten to mention it sometime ago. They surgically removed it when they felt his wrist start to pulse more and more frantically.)

 

“I need a podship,”

 

The smile was gone and replaced by a faux confused expression.

 

_Well I mean he’s better than Allura and Keith so that’s good._

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Lance looked at him with a sleazy grin walking closer and bring his hands to the base of Coran’s neck, curling his fingers into his ginger hair, slightly tangling them, scratching the nape of Coran’s neck.

 

“Come on Coran, you know _exactly_  what I mean,” Lance moved his face closer inch my inch, leaving a very little gap between their faces.

 

“Uh–!”

 

Coran started to stutter and he moved his hands up like he wanted to push Lance away, but he didn’t, instead he mistakenly put them on Lance’s waist, making the scene _that_  more disconcerting to anyone else watching.

 

“You’re a little restless while you’ve been asleep haven’t you?”

 

“L-Lance–!”

 

“Aww, Coran don’t be boring!” He stared into Coran’s eyes, using a /little/ bit of his quintessence, pooling the idea of lust into Coran’s mind.

 

Some people _may_  consider this rape if Coran wasn’t willing, but the only reason Lance was able to make Coran feel like this would be if he’s thought about it before.

 

So, to some degree, he was willing to take just as much Lance was willing to give.

 

(Okay and Lance might be feeling a tiny bit horny, so what?)

 

“No one will know I promise,” he pushed his face and gave Coran a tiny peck on his lips, giving his a very very _very_  small insight of what was to come if he just _listened_.

 

Suddenly, gun powder and a very small whirring sound of a machine entered his senses.

 

The door opened.

 

**~**

 

Shiro was WorriedTM.

 

The team was scattered around the ship, he saw Allura scouring the ship, Pidge angrily messing with a reluctant Hunk, Keith was too busy killing everything that moved, and–!

 

He’s not sure what Coran does but its probably weird anyway.

 

So, like he stated earlier:

 

 _Worried TM_.

 

Now the only person he hasn’t seen yet is Lance.

 

Shiro needed to figure out exactly what he feels for the guy, is it irritation? Slight annoyance? Is he just gassy in those exact moments of time when Lance and Keith are around?

 

Or…

 

Or is it the same as, or, no not the _same_ , but something close to what he feels for Keith.

 

That’s…something he’s not ready with thinking about, he and Keith still need to talk about hat kiss they shared the day Shiro left.

 

Anyway, forgetting that.

 

Lance.

 

Where the _fuck_ is he?

 

He better not have gone away off the ship to work with the ‘Marmorites.’ Which reminds Shiro about what Lance had said to him before about this Blade of Marmora group, and how they can help in the fight against Zarkon and his witch.

 

(Look just because Shiro was tortured by them for a year doesn’t mean he’s a racist now, obviously he’ll be very suspicious but he won’t kill them on sight.)

 

(He doesn’t know about Allura though, she seems like kind of a wildcard that’s giving Shiro a headache to just /think/ about dealing with)

 

_”L-Lance-!”_

 

Shiro hears Coran’s voice echoing from the bridge and he feels his feet moving faster by themselves, he’s just behind the door, about to open when he felt some sort of ominous feeling, like he was about to see something very _very_  bad.

 

When the doors rushed open, Shiro felt his eyes widen.

 

Because right /fucking there/, was Lance sticking his tongue down Coran’s throat.

 

_“What the fuck.”_

 

**~**

 

_“What the fuck.”_  
  


 

Lance just suppressed a grin when he saw Coran fall backwards, barely catching himself on the console, he gave a look to Shiro and then to Lance, he slowly rose and puffed up his collar, trying to grab on to any receding dignity he can manage.

 

 

“I—I am going to check on the princess, talk to her about…things!”

 

 

After that Coran scaddadled and Lance didn’t even bother swallowing his chuckle as he saw the Altean rush past Shiro while hiding his face, while said man just stared at Lance like his whole life was pushed into a new perspective and he couldn’t handle it.

 

 

It probably was, Lance bets it was almost like seeing your parent macking with one of your friends from school. Lance remembers when his jail companion had told him stories about her mother, it was the most he’d laughed in years.

 

 

(The guards had fixed that, they beat him until he whimpered and fucked him until he was bleeding from both holes, his companion, he couldn’t even remember her name, was slowly skinned alive in front of him and he went back into being in his cell alone again.)

 

 

Shiro’s silence was overcome from his red face and sudden coughing, he barely caught himself on the edge of the door opening.

 

 

…Lance probably said that aloud. He’s not sure which part though, judging from Shiro’s face, it must have only been the first part.

 

 

Oops.

 

 

“W-What the fuck…?”  
  


 

Lance couldn’t help it anymore.

 

 

He gave a loud fucking snort.

 

 

That only dissolved into a bout of giggles.

 

 

That then turned into raucous laughter.

 

 

Shiro’s _face_.

 

 

It was bloody _priceless_.

 

 

Lance heard the other guy huff, “Yeah yeah, laugh it up, I’m still trying to catch up, I think you broke my brain Lance.”

 

 

Suddenly Lance stopped laughing.

 

 

**~**

 

 

_“It’s alright, we’re just going to drill into this place up here,” a bony finger tapped Lance in between the eyes, nails so sharp it cut the skin and a bead of blood pooled, looking like it was on the cusp of falling down the bridge of his nose._

 

_“And have a little look around,” another druid materialized out of the shadowed corner, a marvel considering all the glowing purple tools that were handing over his face ominously._

 

_“And see how we can make you better.”_

 

_**Oh** , Lance thought distantly to himself, **they’re going to break my brain.**_

 

**~**

 

 

“—ance? Lance?!”

 

 

Lance was brought back into the present by Shiro, he was a lot closer than he was before, his spot in the doorway abandoned to make sure his teammate was okay, no matter how messed up he seemed, a good trait for a leader.

 

 

Shiro kept shaking Lance though and unless he had a cock (or more) in his ass or mouth he wasn’t into the manhanding.

 

 

“Chill, I’m fine, just had a little flashback.”

 

 

Shiro looked really relieved, almost suspiciously so, but Lance knew the guy either had a flame for him or he was just really really /really/ concerned for Lance on a platonic level.

 

 

(Bull _shit_.)

 

 

**~**

 

 

“…uh, Shiro? How long you going to cling on me like that?”  
  


 

And, almost in a complete parallel, Shiro threw himself back not unlike Coran just a little while ago.

 

 

**~**

 

 

“Keith, God I can’t believe I’m asking you this, hey don’t look at me like that, you aren’t really the touchy-feely type, but, I… need emotional advice…?”

 

Well.

 

That is not what Keith expected when he opened his door with the almost shy knock that got him to stop staring at his reflection in his knife.

 

(Keith stares at his knife to look at his reflection because he secretly loves his face and doesn’t want to get caught staring into mirrors for hours on end, sue him, he had a nice face.)

 

“I…honestly can’t believe you’re asking me too?”

 

Suddenly both Pidge and Allura barrel down the hallway. Shouting at Hunk and Lance as they pass by, both seemed /very/ angry.

 

“ _Have you seen Lance?!_ ”

 

_“How in Gods’ names do we keep just missing him?! Is he a part yalmore too?!"_

 

Hunk and Keith just stare after them, neither really wanted to know what that was about, they were sure Lance could deal with it.

 

Keith just looked back at Hunk who was fiddling with his hands, he sighed, defeated, and moved so Hunk could enter.

 

“Well, come in I guess.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol look how long I made you wait

**Author's Note:**

> BAZINGA
> 
> Tumblr: hellomynameiscrazy


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